tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50834733624595963412024-03-13T23:18:13.711-04:00My BRCA Story My life, from BRCA1 diagnosis, to prophylactic double mastectomy with implant breast reconstruction to oophorectomy.MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.comBlogger65125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-46935219668103942792018-10-06T23:43:00.000-04:002019-04-20T00:03:01.887-04:00When Dad Undergoes BRCA Testing<div style="text-align: justify;">
* UPDATE: I am negative for the BRCA gene.<br />
<br />
Breast Cancer Awareness Month means a great deal in our house. It’s not just another reason to re-post something on Social Media and forget about it. Here’s why. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My wife, Heather, lost her Mother to cancer. Susan was 41, and Heather was only 13. Heather’s grandmother also had cancer in her lifetime, and if you’ve read Heather’s blog and social media posts, you’ll know about the <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.com/2015/06/surgery-via-heathers-husband.html">elective, preventive measures</a> she’s taken to reduce her risk. She has also written <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.com/p/book.html">two children’s books</a> based off the conversations we’ve had with our own kids. The goal is to help other kids who might be going through the same issues and having the same questions. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I’m so proud of the active stance Heather takes related to matters relating to breast cancer. She gets herself out there and tries to help who she can by sharing her story. She uses <a href="https://twitter.com/expattravelmom">social media</a>, <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.com/">blogs</a>, shows up as a guest on <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.com/2018/10/losing-my-mother-previving-for-my.html">podcasts</a> and video interviews. She really walks the talk. So, what can I do to show my support this October? Well, <b>I decided to get tested myself</b>. After all, my paternal grandmother died of cancer, and both my father and his only brother have dealt with prostate cancer themselves. So today, I spit in a test tube and <a href="https://www.tuckermedical.com/">my doctor</a> will ship my DNA off for testing for BRCA1 and BRCA2. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Genetic testing isn’t new to our family. Heather was<a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.com/2015/03/so-many-choices.html"> tested for the BRCA</a> mutation years ago as was her Grandmother while she was still alive. Fast forward to last year, I myself was tested (via 23andMe) in search for explanations regarding my own health. I learned a few things related to my own health, such as a genetic variant in the MTHFR gene which won’t allow my body to process folic acid the same way “normal” people do. But I digress. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This isn’t just a test for how my body metabolizes a B Vitamin. We’re talking about looking for a predisposition to deadly disease. I must admit that I’m a little nervous. However, I’ve always preferred knowing. I’m the guy who would rather people be honest and upfront with me now, even if potentially difficult to accept, to avoid hurt feelings later. I’d rather know, and as the G.I. Joe series told me when I was a kid, “Knowing is half the battle!” Go Joe.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Oddly, the anxiety I have is from what the results means to those around me. My wife has already been through so much. Because she’s positive for the BRCA1 mutation, she already worries about the 50% chance each of our kids carries that same mutation. What happens if I, too, have that mutation? What about any of the other 30 genes that for which Colors tests? I really don’t want her to stress even more, but I also know she’s happy she found out. And of course, we’ve discussed this, so I’m confident she’ll be okay.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
What about telling my kids? Yes, I want to know, but do I share my results with our children? They already have some burden knowing that they have increased risk. At 10, 12 and 14 years old, are they ready for the additional weight on their little shoulders of knowing there could be others? We’ve asked about BRCA and whether they would want to know, and when. Two of them want to know. One, the youngest, doesn’t want to know her own results. The good news is that they are all willing to talk about it. At least we’re talking about it.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifJlcUAIJO1FBgNvuL0O7ItXF01w5phIqV0mV__THlLBlNpDbp9Xa5BEKJNhO52Az_WMBs10GAmHD6rY3wgg4P6TDw_AUcdWDl7_2WvHLLpGfBr1PWba5uk-xJ9jU4dEygZvQfJt1Ex9s/s1600/37928087_10213579590256869_4748917576518598656_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifJlcUAIJO1FBgNvuL0O7ItXF01w5phIqV0mV__THlLBlNpDbp9Xa5BEKJNhO52Az_WMBs10GAmHD6rY3wgg4P6TDw_AUcdWDl7_2WvHLLpGfBr1PWba5uk-xJ9jU4dEygZvQfJt1Ex9s/s320/37928087_10213579590256869_4748917576518598656_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then there’s my only sibling; my brother. Obviously he potentially carries any mutation or variant that I carry since it would have been passed from one of our parents, and he also has three kids of his own. The weight of this decision spreads across the branches of the family tree. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Lastly, something my wife hasn’t experienced herself as her parents died many years before genetic testing was available; the guilt my parents could carry from knowing it’s passed from them. Not that they should feel guilty, of course. It’s nobody’s fault. If we worry about passing on “broken” genes we’ll stop populating Earth altogether. Probably not a good choice. However, I already know that it’s difficult to know that my son has the same MTHFR variant as me, and I can’t help but feel some responsibility. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Occasionally this Winston Churchill quote surfaces;</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
“The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.” </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It means we can’t deny truth, whether we choose to know it or not. Facts don’t discriminate. Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking ignorance is bliss, but the fact is that ignorance can harm, or even kill us. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Truth empowers us. It allows us to take meaningful action, even if at first it hurts.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather and I made the decision to KNOW all those years ago so that she could do everything in her power to live a long life with our kids, something her mom and dad were denied. I’m sure that they would have done exactly what Heather has done; they would have taken every measure available to them to extend their own lives. It goes without saying that Heather wants to be there for every graduation ceremony, wedding, and someday the birth of our grandchildren. So do I. And if I can be given information on how to increase those odds, I’m game. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Another important thing for me, and my advice to anybody making these choices, is to seek genetic counseling. As I read the Color Genomics consent form this morning (I know, who ACTUALLY reads those?), I noted that they offer genetic counseling at no extra cost. This is a huge bonus in my opinion. My doctor provides great counsel in the context of how we can use it to holistically address my health, but I will absolutely contact Color and take advantage of that genetic counseling service. Our BRCA journey started with an amazing team of counselors and physicians from Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City, Utah. The team there, over 13 years ago now, set the stage for taking an informed approach to all we do. They helped us navigate considerations that we hadn’t thought about. These thought provoking discussions have helped us better manage our own expectations and those of our loved ones. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So for now I’ll wait for my results and consider these questions with my wife. Until then, I’ll be satisfied that “knowing” is in my future, and for me, knowing is half the battle. </div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-12520544659383771102018-10-02T20:00:00.002-04:002019-04-20T00:03:42.750-04:00Losing My Mother, Previving For My Children<div style="text-align: justify;">
Thank you to <a href="https://greygenetics.com/">Grey Genetics </a>and <a href="https://twitter.com/GreyGeneticsPod">Patient Stories</a> for having me on to discuss my journey with BRCA and surgery, but more importantly, for allowing me to discuss my children, who were/are a big part of all the decisions I made along the way.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Please click the image below to hear this podcast.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/patient-stories-from-grey-genetics/id1371665300"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikQ7Mugdd01wxiob1EzAl8_FpDHw00dpv_CTPjjj9nJj5oVCuufygIKSa0XK9oCDkOU6FM0JJXFoxXUhmmowsz8hWx3ZaBFjwY8XbakIBMDXy16Fb5kzqmUCfLtEw1HFj08-bf05zsDcM/s320/PODCAST+ART+%25283%2529.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.greygenetics.com/losing-my-mother-previving-for-my-children-heather-barnard/">Show notes from Grey Genetics</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
At just 13, Heather lost her mother to breast cancer. Fifteen years later, a mother herself, Heather had genetic testing done and learned that she carried a mutation in a BRCA gene. Heather shares her experience as a previvor–from genetic counseling to finding the right doctors to her continued involvement in the BRCA community and the many changes she’s witnessed since she was tested in 2005.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Interview Reference Points: </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather learns that she carries a BRCA1 mutation @ 1:20</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Making major medical decisions and finding the right doctors @ 7:54</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather’s children’s books @ 19:59</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather remembers her mother @ 22:19</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather’s surveillance today and memories of scanxiety @ 27:24</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The Breast Advocate app @ 29:14</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Life after an oophorectomy @ 31:30 </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather’s children’s and their BRCA risks @ 36:07</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
BRCA resources: then and now and the shift toward shared decision making @ 41:00</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather’s advice to individuals considering genetic testing @ 43:35</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather’s advice to individuals looking for the right doctors @ 45:08</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.com/">My BRCA Story (Heather’s blog)</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/expattravelmom/">@expattravelmom</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/brcastory/">Facebook</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/BeyondthePinkMoon/">Beyond The Pink Moon</a> Facebook Group</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://breastadvocateapp.com/">The Breast Advocate app</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Breast Reconstruction Resources:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Terri Coutee on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/6state">@6state</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://www.diepcfoundation.org/">The Diep C Foundation</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/diepcjourney/">The Diep C Journey Facebook Group</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather’s books on Amazon:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Having-Surgery-Looks-reconstruction/dp/1514713950/">Why is Mommy Having Surgery? She Looks OK to Me: For families with BRCA risk and undergoing prophylactic surgery and implant reconstruction</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/This-Much-Know-Heather-Barnard/dp/1511580267">This Much I Know</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-26147934170338676542018-09-30T23:07:00.001-04:002018-09-30T23:18:33.035-04:00Long Term Surveillance...Yes or No<div style="text-align: justify;">
This past week, I was fortunate enough to be asked to sit down for an interview and discuss BRCA as an expat. One of the questions I was asked focused on the choices out there for women who find out they are BRCA+. The one I always discuss, is the preventive prophylactic mastectomy, because, well, I had one and that was the topic everyone was curious about! I didn't focus as much on the 10 years I spent doing surveillance due to having babies and being an expat. But I feel that needs just as much discussion these days, because there are a lot of women out there who want nothing to do with surgery...just yet.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I look back, and I think about how crazy it is that I went through all this testing and getting my BRCA+ results before the Angelina Jolie Effect. I had nothing to read online, no one to guide me and certainly no one to see photos of who had had a mastectomy and direct to implant surgery. What I did have was a great team of doctors and a genetic counselor at Huntsman Cancer Institute in Utah, who were able to talk to me about my options at the time. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Because I had just had a baby when I got my results, and I fell pregnant again, it was recommended to delay any surgeries for a while, and because I was breast feeding, even my mammograms and MRIs would be delayed. That was the hardest part for me. I knew for sure that I was BRCA+, but I still couldn't do anything about it. I honestly would have had the surgery that day if I could have. I was on self breast exam surveillance mode, and as soon as I could, I'd begin alternating MRIs and mammograms every six months.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGNaiTdbaPShQXVMTjPKv0wBWqQ1a0ClF1uR6Eujs4b1gk5Yl2LM4__sbPShvIMwMEXHJjxyCv7aEAZllpN1IZTsmLNoAfhEEx5CrXnRS3iQh8NEeTKt1yH9GolIyBGXkfoM6iN4JDOKc/s1600/mammography-2416942_960_720.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="960" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGNaiTdbaPShQXVMTjPKv0wBWqQ1a0ClF1uR6Eujs4b1gk5Yl2LM4__sbPShvIMwMEXHJjxyCv7aEAZllpN1IZTsmLNoAfhEEx5CrXnRS3iQh8NEeTKt1yH9GolIyBGXkfoM6iN4JDOKc/s320/mammography-2416942_960_720.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo from Pixaby</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I finally had my first mammogram in 2007, 2 years after learning I was BRCA+. That was a long time to keep wondering, will I get cancer before I try to prevent it? I was done breastfeeding my second child and I hadn't yet fallen pregnant with my third. I held my breath before, during and after as I waited for results. Luckily, it was negative. After my third child was born and I was done breastfeeding, I had my first MRI, in 2009. I hated every minute of it, and wished more than anything that I would never have to have another one again. That began my surveillance, on a regular six month cycle, for the next six years. Why did it take me six more years to finally have surgery? Because we decided to pick up the family and move to the United Arab Emirates for a teaching position in 2010.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So, there we were, plopping down in the middle of the desert, and the first task I had was to find a new medical team, let alone, how to get a mammogram or MRI under my new, foreign insurance. It took A LOT of talking, A LOT of doctors offices, and A LOT of panic. I was an anomaly. Doctors in the Middle East didn't have much experience with BRCA in 2010. They honestly didn't know what to do with me. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Thankfully, persistence paid off, as I found Tawam Hospital in the Emirate of Al Ain, a partner of Johns Hopkins. Finally, people who knew what I needed. They set me up on my six month schedule of MRIs and mammograms, and actually told me NOT to have reconstruction surgery in the UAE, as they just weren't proficient in it yet. I couldn't go back to the States for it, due to insurance, so surveillance it was. I continued my six month routine, holding my breath before, during and after every scan, developing scanxiety, and just worrying more and more that I was playing with fire. Would I develop cancer before I could actually do something about it? It wasn't a way to live.<br />
<br />
I felt like a clock was ticking as entered my 30s. My mother and grandmother were diagnosed by 40. I was getting closer and closer to that age with each passing year and each passing scan. From 2010-2014, I lived in the UAE and had no choices for preventive surgery. But, in 2014, we moved once again, to Singapore. I found a doctor who referred me to my first MRI and mammogram in Singapore. Unfortunately, it was my first abnormal scan, they found a cyst. All that went through my mind was how I waited too long and I shouldn't have done surveillance for so long. I should have been more proactive. As I discussed the results of the scan with the doctor, her response was to do a lumpectomy or watch it for six months to see what happens. WHAT? I'm BRCA+ and you want to "sit on it"! I was out of there and began a furious search for an expat doctor.<br />
<br />
It was here that I met a phenomenal expat doctor who trained in genetics and oncology at UCLA. We discussed my recent scan and my history, and he was shocked that I had lasted this long with surveillance. He was putting wheels in motion after our first meeting. Luckily, my husband's new insurance covered me in the States, and I could pick the <a href="https://prma-enhance.com/about-us/breast-reconstruction-surgeons-texas/dr-minas-chrysopoulo/">doctor of my dreams</a> and have the surgery I had been waiting for after 10 years. In 2015, my six month scans were over, and I had my preventive prophylactic mastectomy.<br />
<br />
Surveillance isn't for everyone. As I mentioned earlier, I wished I'd had my surgery right away. Those 10 years were awful for me. I hated wondering and not knowing. I hated taking that risk of waiting. It's an internal conversation you need to have with yourself, but also with your genetic counselor and doctor. Do what's right for your situation. If you have questions and are wondering about how to navigate all this information, please download <a href="https://breastadvocateapp.com/">The Breast Advocate app</a>.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-69279128394682620452018-09-29T04:20:00.002-04:002018-09-29T04:25:44.161-04:00Fat Grafting or No...One of the Most Asked Questions of Me<div style="text-align: justify;">
I had an amazing experience with my surgery, from beginning to end. I'm one of the ones who truly had a one and done experience. I chose a phenomenal team at PRMA in San Antonio, using <a href="https://prma-enhance.com/about-us/breast-reconstruction-surgeons-texas/dr-minas-chrysopoulo/">Dr. Chrysopoulo </a>as my surgeon. Dr. C, as we all affectionately call him, is a microsurgeon and even more importantly, a board certified plastic surgeon skilled in breast reconstruction. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to do your research before you settle on a surgeon or surgical team. You have a choice. You have the right. You need to choose someone who knows what he/she is doing. Someone who can connect you to previous patients, someone who can show before and after photos, and most importantly, someone who will listen to YOU.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That being said, I often get asked whether or not I had any fat grafting done after my "one and done" surgery. The answer is, no. For me, I feel like my results really couldn't be any better. Could I be fuller? Maybe. Is there animation I wish would be covered? Slightly. But is the process worth it? I don't feel it is, for ME. Firstly, let me explain what fat grafting is.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuU1XQh6O81aRmBpQRAYqonymMqXawaP5eGBf4cZYR71GLJp-BJsN7gQo5rFX0cGo71nU20e3s3519mSsfFjA6ut6kYASd7rMaS2LMrWucHhOkifbPHnLfbCmCm1fB7BmgS8kxjlvHW5M/s1600/2000px-Breasts.svg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1195" data-original-width="1600" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuU1XQh6O81aRmBpQRAYqonymMqXawaP5eGBf4cZYR71GLJp-BJsN7gQo5rFX0cGo71nU20e3s3519mSsfFjA6ut6kYASd7rMaS2LMrWucHhOkifbPHnLfbCmCm1fB7BmgS8kxjlvHW5M/s320/2000px-Breasts.svg.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a class="irc_pt irc_tas i3598 irc_lth" data-href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Breasts.svg" data-noload="" data-ved="2ahUKEwicgYW249_dAhWBxIMKHe9PDmAQjhx6BAgBEAM" dir="ltr" href="https://www.google.com.sg/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwicgYW249_dAhWBxIMKHe9PDmAQjhx6BAgBEAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fcommons.wikimedia.org%2Fwiki%2FFile%3ABreasts.svg&psig=AOvVaw0LlwimuqdLgzcYSxO91COX&ust=1538295492376268" jsaction="mousedown:irc.rl;keydown:irc.rlk" rel="noopener" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; font-family: arial, sans-serif; overflow: hidden; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; unicode-bidi: isolate; white-space: nowrap;" tabindex="0" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;">File:Breasts.svg - Wikimedia Commons</span></span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Fat grafting basically involves taking fat from one part of the body and putting it in another. In this case, it is most often taken from the stomach or thighs and placed into the breasts via liposuction. Again, DO YOUR RESEARCH. You need to make sure the place you're going to does this often, has correct procedures and know how to handle the fat cells properly. But that's it. In and out.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So why don't I want to do it? I don't want to go through any more procedures, I really don't. But that, on top of the fact that there's no guarantee that the first procedure will stick, added to me thinking it just wasn't worth it. There's actually a chance that 30-50% of the fat in the first transfer will be reabsorbed by the body. 30-50%! That's too high for me to think it's worth it. I'm reading Facebook posts talking about this very thing, weekly. Women going in for fat grafting, loving the immediate results, but then having reabsorption and having to choose whether to go through another procedure or just leave it alone and be happy with what they have.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So, for those of you who write in and ask if I ever did fat grafting, or why I didn't, there you go. It was a personal decision and I'm happy with it. For me, my journey was always about removing my ticking time bombs, not about perfection. But, I'm pretty damn close, and I'm happy with that.<br />
<br />
For answers to questions you might have, check out <a href="https://breastadvocateapp.com/">The Breast Advocate App</a>.</div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-3793054500512891442018-05-12T02:59:00.000-04:002018-05-12T03:03:14.168-04:00Surgically Induced Menopause...The TruthLet's be real for a moment. Honest. Brutally honest. Let's talk about menopause. Not just menopause, but surgically induced menopause. It's no joke. I don't write this to scare anyone, I write it to tell you MY journey and things I'VE learned. May you be blessed enough to have none of these symptoms or only one or two.<br />
<br />
Two and a half years ago, I had my <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/07/initial-oophorectomy-consult.html">bilateral salpingo oophorectomy</a>...that's fancy talk for taking out my ovaries and tubes. I did it only six months after having my bilateral prophylactic mastectomy with reconstruction. I figured I'd just get it all done and put it all behind me. My only goals were 1) to decrease my chances of developing breast or ovarian cancer and 2) doing it before I turned 40, as that's when my mom was diagnosed.<br />
<br />
I've talked in previous posts about how well my <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/06/surgery-via-heathers-husband.html">mastectomy</a> went, how I felt I was better prepared for it, and how calm I was...eerily calm, about the whole thing. I wasn't attached to my breasts in any way, and really, my surgeon did such an amazing job that I don't miss a single thing about my old breasts. Now, I will say, I had already had my children and got to breast feed. So perhaps I'd feel differently if that wasn't the case. But taking all that into account, I'm extremely happy with the results.<br />
<br />
But then there's the oophorectomy. It scared the crap out of me. In one of my <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/07/appointments-and-insurance-prior-to.html">initial consults</a>, I learned all about the risks of the surgery and all the side effects of losing my ovaries. To hear words like memory loss, heart disease, bone density, psychological well-being and sexual disfunction...I'm amazed I went through with it. But we need to keep one thing in mind...we're trying to avoid getting cancer, right? So the only choice I had was to go through with it. Now, let's fast forward to today, 2018, two and a half years later.<br />
<br />
Ladies, I'm not going to lie. It pretty much sucks. Is it doable? Of course. Are there drawbacks, absolutely. Some days my glass is half full and sometimes it's half empty. But here we are, it is what it is, so I'm just going to let you know how it's all panning out.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD7p6bIAdsa12m1YBa2q8HQYcLkax8-4Hlii28pdV-_clXr0PLCf4jxD5he40HEfiWhcDbHPZLyE0cJFs6HnAeBz95kBv6PfcnWWwJRXQzAj104qNcrXN_Tk-ao34vyirjRcjBAO7EvLk/s1600/flower-3086563_640.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="427" data-original-width="640" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD7p6bIAdsa12m1YBa2q8HQYcLkax8-4Hlii28pdV-_clXr0PLCf4jxD5he40HEfiWhcDbHPZLyE0cJFs6HnAeBz95kBv6PfcnWWwJRXQzAj104qNcrXN_Tk-ao34vyirjRcjBAO7EvLk/s320/flower-3086563_640.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<h3>
Hair</h3>
My once thick beautiful hair is now thinning. I take biotin, collagen, buy shampoos with lavender...anything people suggest, I try. But alas, it's thinning and I hate it. The positive side? I don't have to shave as often anymore because hair, anywhere, barely grows anymore, and the ones that do are soft. That's a plus, right? Some say to get your testosterone tested as it can cause male pattern baldness type issues. My testosterone is AOK, so what's next?<br />
<br />
<h3>
Skin</h3>
<br />
Awww, say goodbye to beautiful, supple skin. The elasticity just isn't the same anymore. I now look down and see my mom. Not that mom looked bad! But come on, when I was little, I thought my mom was old, when really she was only 39...lol. In addition to the supplements above, I use wonderful lotions...but really, it's just my reality now. It's a bit more wrinkly and a bit more loose.<br />
<br />
<h3>
HRT</h3>
<br />
So, I tried to avoid HRT, but the reality is, I couldn't. My hot flashes were non-stop...8-10 massive whammies during the day alone, ones that caused me to mop myself down with tissues. So, I started taking progesterone and estrogen. Ahhhh, the joys of estrogen gel. Every night, I get my measuring stick, squeeze out my gel, and rub it onto my arm. I then wait for it to dry while trying to avoid getting it on anything. It's so sexy. The hot flashes went down to about 4-6 a day and were more manageable.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Sleep</h3>
<br />
Once I had my oophorectomy, it's like I woke up to life, and can't go back to sleep. Sadly, I've tried all the herbal remedies, compounds and HRT, but nothing can get me to sleep...and stay asleep. So, I take half an over the counter sleeping pill a night which keeps me in a beautiful slumber. Some doctors recommend taking some anti-depressants for hot flashes which also helps with insomnia, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Weight Gain</h3>
<br />
Oh, the weight. It kept coming and coming and coming. I was at my wit's end! I hadn't changed my eating habits, I went on HRT to be more hormonally balanced, and yet it was as if my body said, "hey, it is what it is...accept it!." Ummmm, no. Wasn't going to. So, my doctor put me on the keto way of eating and guess what...all the weight melted off. I haven't stopped, going on over a year now. It also dramatically reduced my hot flashes to about 2-3 a day and barely noticeable! I'm guessing the lack of any and all sugar did that, but I'll let a medial genius disprove me.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Memory</h3>
<br />
I scoffed at the idea that a simple surgery, ok, not simple, but you know what I mean, could change my memory capability. But wow. I notice a huge difference as the years go on. I'm not as mentally sharp. Sometimes it takes me a bit longer to realize what I'm trying to do in the moment, what I came into the room to do, think of something I was supposed to tell someone...just these blips here and there that are happening more often. Sometimes I just laugh at myself and say, oops, another oopho brain moment.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Sex</h3>
<br />
Ok, SOOOOOO personal, but so real. So, here it goes. You'll be dry. That changes everything. It instills fears. Fear of pain, fear of lack of pleasure, fear of everything being different. You can try estrogen insertion pills to help, different gels, whatever will work for you...BUT KEEP AT IT. Keep trying to find a solution and don't let the fear take over.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Babies</h3>
<br />
So, I knew I was done having children. I really did. Really. Well, I tell myself that anyway. But oh my goodness, now that I'm 2.5 years out, something strange is happening to me. I have baby fever. I see them and I want them. I imagine having one. And then, it sets in. I can never have a baby that is genetically mine. And it makes me sad. Should I have harvested eggs? Too late now. I wasn't even thinking about it because I was done having kids. Honestly, I was done. I think.<br />
<br />
That's it. That's the joys of having surgically induced menopause. The gift bestowed upon you for completing a life saving surgery. Am I thankful for having the opportunity I had to chance my life's course? Absolutely. But am I human, experiencing grief, anger and change? Absolutely.<br />
<br />
<br />MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-55849449077228796912018-03-19T01:54:00.003-04:002018-03-20T02:04:26.142-04:00Three Year Checkup After Mastectomy and Reconstruction<div style="text-align: justify;">
On Saturday, March 17th, the day of Irish luck, I had my three year post mastectomy and reconstruction scans. While my surgery wasn't until the month of June of 2015, I felt like I needed to get my check up slightly early due to some pain and burning sensations I've been having in my chest. So, I was lined up for the fully gamut of tests...MRI, mammogram and ultrasound. Enter stress and anxiety.</div>
<br />
<h3>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">MRI</span></h3>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Let's flashback to 2013, which was my last MRI I thought I'd ever have, ever. It was the beginning of the end when it comes to anxiety and claustrophobia. I'd had MRI's before, as part of my surveillance, but something about this one was different. I have no idea why I began to panic inside the tunnels. Not sure if it was the constant clanking and banging noises, if it was because I was face down and couldn't see for so long, or if I was just plain scared, but I panicked during that one, unable to continue, stopping the scan early, and that was the end of them, or so I thought. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm now 3 years post mastectomy and reconstruction, so it is needed to check on residual tissue as well as the implant integrity. This time, I took a Xanax 30 minutes before entering the tunnel. I was positioned and ready in the tunnel, where they then inserted the port for the dye, since I have a high fear of needles. Well, apparently my vein jumped and she missed, causing a lot of pain, and a mess. She then tried for my arm, not before saying "you have impossible veins." Thanks lady. Way to soothe me. Anyway, port in, I'm in, we're ready. I did my breathing exercises while in there, in through the nose, out through the mouth, over and over and over. I'd feel the panic creep up, and go back to focusing on my breathing. "Now we're injecting the dye so the next 5-10 min are really important that you don't move." That did it, I felt trapped. I had had enough of the banging, clanking and noises, enough of the sensation of dye being released, and my breast bone was killing me. I was wiggling my toes, I was playing with the panic button in my hand, and I was about to explode. Just as I grabbed the button to press and end it all, the 45 minute session was done. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I don't think I'll ever get used to an MRI machine.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEvJvmueJ1GJuric0C25aG7121IvHuUztSIO8kUtmolyfvZXz4siDCXSuG2OObwm19mRatJ7_fAbItIjJjicjq6sXA8HEyP8Fa19ABd289cJ6T87HvjT1uSU19URJoIuXa-JdQqUfFeSM/s1600/IMG_4387.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEvJvmueJ1GJuric0C25aG7121IvHuUztSIO8kUtmolyfvZXz4siDCXSuG2OObwm19mRatJ7_fAbItIjJjicjq6sXA8HEyP8Fa19ABd289cJ6T87HvjT1uSU19URJoIuXa-JdQqUfFeSM/s200/IMG_4387.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9TKBewLY8vvKKYOb6IjdIHaNBRSoDnUrykHQaD-Y4v5QnyCGY3T4zFEEfFyxPwNVuCFimtdzDLoi581EDeG5d1NPm-Dbb3x-bW7crZcYm_0VJVxxW1uuvwkjm6zFvHHfvrQ2yQRFMWhI/s1600/IMG_4389.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9TKBewLY8vvKKYOb6IjdIHaNBRSoDnUrykHQaD-Y4v5QnyCGY3T4zFEEfFyxPwNVuCFimtdzDLoi581EDeG5d1NPm-Dbb3x-bW7crZcYm_0VJVxxW1uuvwkjm6zFvHHfvrQ2yQRFMWhI/s200/IMG_4389.JPG" width="200" /></a><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<h3>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Mammogram</span></h3>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
After the MRI, they walked me to the mammogram room, where I was informed that instead of the normal four images, I would be having eight. Apparently, once you have implants, you have an additional four which are called 'pinching' images. This is part of the American Cancer Society's recommended procedure. Several views must be taken to see both the implant and the tissue. So, the first four are what you're used to, regular squeeze, two angles on each breast. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The pinch is different. They literally squeeze the tissue, pushing the implant back and getting as much tissue forward as possible for the scan, and then take an image of just the tissue. Imaging can only see 75% of your tissue with an implant in place, so 25% is nearly impossible to see...therefore the pinch. I will say, the regular image hurt more than the pinching, and overall, I felt more discomfort with these images with implants than without. </div>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieaAblPPv30q7hyphenhyphenU61UoS0VzElGqtS3dRnBL3x_QT4rpP0enlXfyB-r0YTeJUpEJq8AtXnRpDdFWN3xssRr387Lggk4SjVAlm91bl_yQS_vG3zFjcJZKrt_4lgHsbJ7nz2iWxh6b2BE64/s1600/breastcompress.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="237" data-original-width="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieaAblPPv30q7hyphenhyphenU61UoS0VzElGqtS3dRnBL3x_QT4rpP0enlXfyB-r0YTeJUpEJq8AtXnRpDdFWN3xssRr387Lggk4SjVAlm91bl_yQS_vG3zFjcJZKrt_4lgHsbJ7nz2iWxh6b2BE64/s1600/breastcompress.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">http://www.imaginis.com/mammography/<br />
breast-implant-imaging</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyuvjesTPPGF77gl3KHEeILY1ZS_oVswG-__sTNKRAMI23JXvrwYQi1ZGPiG9z-yXKq7T0oILHGPc35mFiTlL07bprX5-wIeUbS69KbYMGWXVvlKQAtqVEYJdvrRL1rhIQ1fYqmh0TU98/s1600/breastdisplace.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="219" data-original-width="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyuvjesTPPGF77gl3KHEeILY1ZS_oVswG-__sTNKRAMI23JXvrwYQi1ZGPiG9z-yXKq7T0oILHGPc35mFiTlL07bprX5-wIeUbS69KbYMGWXVvlKQAtqVEYJdvrRL1rhIQ1fYqmh0TU98/s1600/breastdisplace.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">http://www.imaginis.com/mammography/<br />
breast-implant-imaging</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<h3>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Ultrasound</span></h3>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
After the mammogram, it was time for the ultrasound. My last ultrasound is the entire reason I finally stopped putting off surgery and ran straight to the doctor for a surgical appointment. Remember, I was diagnosed with BRCA1 in 2005, but due to having children and moving Internationally, there was never a time or a doctor where I was, where the reconstruction part of the surgery could happen. In 2015, I went in for my routine mammogram and ultrasound, but this time, they made me wait in the waiting room...for a long time. They finally said they wanted me to see a breast specialist that day as they found a cyst of some sort. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Now, where I am, preventive mastectomy is not practiced, it's radical. So, they opt for a lumpectomy and surveillance. Yeah, not for me, no more, not happening...off to surgery I go. I went back to the States for surgery. I was never going to feel that way again...except, well, at March 17th's appointment. There I was again, same exact room, lying on the bed, praying and hoping all would be fine. I don't think anyone can ever truly explain the fears and worry we have going through this for most of our lives. I started mammograms and ultrasounds in 2005....holding my breath every six months, wondering when I'd hear the C word. I don't think it ever goes away, as it's now 2018, and I'm just as panicked, even with surgery having happened.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The right breast scan took a long time, and she hovered over one area for a very long time, taking still shots and showing the thermal spots. She hopped over to the left breast, was done VERY quickly, but went back to the right breast. At this moment, I really started to worry. She was taking measurements, taking more still photos and staying in the same spot. Now my pessimistic side appeared. I just lay there calmly, thinking she'd say something to me, and after last time, surely they would. But nothing. When I asked, she simply said the doctor needs to read it. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's now two days later, the 19th, and I'm still waiting for results. All I can think of is that if it was serious, they wouldn't make me wait this long, right? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'll be back with an update as soon as I hear, but for now, send all the good juju vibes you can.<br />
<br />
<h3>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Results are in!</span></h3>
<span style="background-color: white; text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I just got the scans back and they are normal. There are no sinister or suspicious findings. 3 small right benign breast nodules on ultrasound - all normal. MRI is normal.</span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-40519316422039888562017-08-26T01:18:00.002-04:002018-03-04T02:20:13.252-05:00Breast Advocate App<div style="text-align: justify;">
As a patient advocate and a Previvor, I'm so excited to be a part of this announcement of the <a href="https://breastadvocateapp.com/" target="_blank">Breast Advocate App</a>. </div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWpjyhMrnVUmZ8hXk5o_aVaYNKdkNNH3phN9BOX178KhMEbq1uR-vX45LlfrMgGSlrJzx3rK-pxSb-uA0Nn081tOF5HoyyshmjQQTAwaa0f7GDm_0FxB8okMpwRGeaEQycwSEOkoHL1gg/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-08-26+at+1.15.37+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="422" data-original-width="577" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWpjyhMrnVUmZ8hXk5o_aVaYNKdkNNH3phN9BOX178KhMEbq1uR-vX45LlfrMgGSlrJzx3rK-pxSb-uA0Nn081tOF5HoyyshmjQQTAwaa0f7GDm_0FxB8okMpwRGeaEQycwSEOkoHL1gg/s320/Screen+Shot+2017-08-26+at+1.15.37+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From <a href="https://breastadvocateapp.com/">https://breastadvocateapp.com/</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Back in 2004, I had VERY limited options for connecting to research, people and options when I received by BRCA1+ results. I didn't have the luxury of being able to reach out to an extensive group of doctors and women to ask questions, seek opinions and benefit from shared decision making. I lacked the knowledge and feeling of empowerment I needed. I think that is why I waited so long to make any decisions about my high risk surgeries.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In 2013, I joined a group on Facebook called <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/BeyondthePinkMoon/" target="_blank">Beyond the Pink Moon</a>, which was, at the time, an International private support group for women who are high risk, Previvors, Survivors and supporters. The group was amazing in sharing stories, supporting each other and sharing some research based evidence. It was in this group that I finally found the doctor I'd use for my surgery, because of how many people were talking about his work and their satisfaction. That was exactly what I needed. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Fast forward to 2015, when I was finally planning my surgery. Beyond the Pink Moon had grown into an all encompassing network of patients, supporters and medical professionals, all working together to help anyone and everyone make the best decisions for themselves. At the same time, my Twitter network was growing and growing, connecting more patients, supporters and medical professionals. The "Shared Decision Making" network was amazing and becoming a norm, quickly. No longer were people stuck with one doctor making all the calls and leaving patients with no other information, references, options or input. It was increasingly evident that patients needed each other, they needed to ask questions from multiple sources and they needed to come to decisions with all the information possible.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Now, I'm so happy to say, that the answer to my one wish during all of this, is coming to fruition. An App is in development, where everyone can get research based evidence, surgery and reconstruction information and options, expert input from a network of highly regarded doctors (including my very own <a href="https://twitter.com/drchrysopoulo" target="_blank">Dr. Chrysopoulo</a>), and a support network of other people walking in your shoes, no matter what part of the journey you're on. The amazing part, is while this App is in Beta, YOU have a voice. <a href="https://breastadvocateapp.com/" target="_blank">Sign up</a> and tell them what <b>YOU</b> want in an App. What <b>would have </b>or <b>will</b> help you in your journey? This App wants to be the resource for connecting our large community and allowing patients to feel empowered with knowledge and resources, no matter what decision they make.</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWZwn5W_TRJkw4uKkRZupzb6-ZJv0ZAvyu0wo7QC8k1mZ5sZ8IzvNcu0MX1oipFyiKclD6Dw5cEH505LKl5riUqNX8oEmzUogvcoYgTThYWbPZDP_F9_8_tr2vWVqkqdNGvBtFo4xeDWI/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-08-26+at+1.07.45+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="774" data-original-width="690" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWZwn5W_TRJkw4uKkRZupzb6-ZJv0ZAvyu0wo7QC8k1mZ5sZ8IzvNcu0MX1oipFyiKclD6Dw5cEH505LKl5riUqNX8oEmzUogvcoYgTThYWbPZDP_F9_8_tr2vWVqkqdNGvBtFo4xeDWI/s400/Screen+Shot+2017-08-26+at+1.07.45+PM.png" width="356" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> from <a href="https://breastadvocateapp.com/">https://breastadvocateapp.com/</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Please share this news with anyone and everyone who has been searching for more information, support and community in what can be a very difficult and lonely journey. </div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-44545975066051857372017-07-24T22:56:00.001-04:002017-07-24T23:10:38.585-04:00One Year and Seven Months Post Oophorectomy<h4>
Things Are Better Than They Were</h4>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'll admit, in my last update post, I was way in over my head. I was going through the first nine months of hormonal changes brought on by immediate menopause after having my risk-reducing bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy as a follow up to my mastectomy, all due to carrying the BRCA gene. My head was twirling with information and hot flashes. Nine months out from surgery, my hot flashes were coming on like wildfire and I was sinking into depression. There I was, feeling great after my mastectomy journey, so I dove head first into the oophorectomy, thinking I could handle that just as gracefully. Honestly, the mastectomy was easier for me. There was surgery, and it was done. I didn't have to have follow ups or think about medications or hormonal changes, etc. The package was neat and tidy. But the oophorectomy, I felt like it had changed my life and there was no turning back.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsiyYggTXTOzjPY8lqOPOmaV_MWf0aTXI1YK_weX-0kMsyER7PcsPy6ZuVqWU0wGQsASpsTDNYVv2pCKQdyObPrC0NlwjhQUOLJETBmbL_da6AT4t4xn2d8jD2NWuR-OU4gR4RJPNg7mM/s1600/19959297_10159024033065187_8573660229757755408_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsiyYggTXTOzjPY8lqOPOmaV_MWf0aTXI1YK_weX-0kMsyER7PcsPy6ZuVqWU0wGQsASpsTDNYVv2pCKQdyObPrC0NlwjhQUOLJETBmbL_da6AT4t4xn2d8jD2NWuR-OU4gR4RJPNg7mM/s320/19959297_10159024033065187_8573660229757755408_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<h4>
Hormones</h4>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As I mentioned in my <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2016/09/9-months-post-oophorectomy.html" target="_blank">previous post</a>, I tossed and turned about taking hormones to help me control the menopause symptoms. I sought out advice from forums, doctors (yes, more than one), nutritionists and friends. I felt guilty even thinking about taking hormones after all the surgeries I had to prevent cancer. I felt guilty because of the voices who said, "no, don't do it." But, in my head, I kept replaying something my husband taught me long ago, "you have to read both books." So, I listened to both sides of the argument, I weighed things out to help me have the best quality and LOVE of life, and I decided to do it. Here's what immediately happened according to my last post:</div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="background-color: white; color: #595959; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">
<h4 style="margin: 0px; position: relative; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ongoing Journal Updates</span></h4>
</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #595959;">
<br />
<ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;">
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Three days after starting HRT, I noticed my hot flashes were getting better. I went from 8-10 a day, to around 5.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;">
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Five days after starting HRT, my legs cramps are gone. I can stretch to my hearts content without spasms.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;">
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Six days later, I'm an emotional wreck. I fear this one because I have to be very careful that I'm not slipping into depression. Everything is making me cry and I'm feeling quite alone. I know this is the hormones, because for the last 9 months, I've barely shed a tear since the estrogen was removed from my body. </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.2px;"> </span></li>
</ul>
</div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Well, needless to say, a lot has changed since that first week of hormones. After playing with some levels, yes, things got better. The "depression" state I was feeling started going away within the next week and the hot flashes remained at about 5-6 BIG ones a day, which was an overall improvement for the better. However, come my one year anniversary, December 2016, I still wasn't happy with how I was feeling nor with how many intense hot flashes I was still having. I was also gaining weight like I'd never had before, besides pregnancy. I didn't want to increase any of the estrogen or progesterone I was on (the lowest amount in estrogen gel and progesterone pill form) because that scared me. So, in January 2017, I took things into my own hands.</div>
<br />
<h4>
Ketogenic Eating</h4>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
*I am NOT a doctor, I can only tell MY story here.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In January, a friend told me about the Ketogenic way of eating. I was very intrigued as I had read three things, 1) it helped with weight loss, 2) is was sugar-free which usually translates to cancer free, and 3) you're eating clean. So, in February, I went to my doctor and expressed my frustration with my weight gain, but wanted to remain on the lowest dose of hormones possible. So, he sent me to a nutritionist. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Ilona was very heartfelt when she recommended the Ketogenic way of eating for me. She believed in it for patients like me, and felt that it helped so many areas I was struggling with, not just one. After she thoroughly explained it to me and how it works, I was sold. We started that day, as a family. I rid my house of all sugars and carbs, basically leaving the refrigerator as our main source of food. All the junk was gone. We were now a high fat, moderate protein and low carb family, kids and all. </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs0hXG5CGbQNEgWosnC4f4LUHB4B-gnprFrAk8Gwrzdi58fctqWQyUv697UcNXbr8a7nSxKehqvxzMdg3Iuc24-Nmszq2SqbzPRhRZvqfKjiT-OH_d8XJSNFLAYKNTEAm-wl6sMP5ypeA/s1600/FullSizeRender+52.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1485" data-original-width="1600" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs0hXG5CGbQNEgWosnC4f4LUHB4B-gnprFrAk8Gwrzdi58fctqWQyUv697UcNXbr8a7nSxKehqvxzMdg3Iuc24-Nmszq2SqbzPRhRZvqfKjiT-OH_d8XJSNFLAYKNTEAm-wl6sMP5ypeA/s320/FullSizeRender+52.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Within a week, yes, 7 days, of strict Keto eating, my hot flashes were almost nonexistent. I was getting through my days and nights without sweating during work and racing for a tissue. And six months later, its the same...hot flashes don't bother me anymore like they used to. And I live in Singapore where its hot and humid! Within the first month, my energy skyrocketed. I no longer got the afternoon drag, I could stay up later and I just felt clarity. My moods stabilized...I felt more in control and happy. I'm also pleased to say that I have lost an incredible 21lbs. Ketogenic eating has changed my life, my family's life. My daughter has even started her own social media sites (following in mom's footsteps for advocacy?) on <a href="https://youtu.be/nL4Rk-yTcNw" target="_blank">YouTube</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/keatokids" target="_blank">Facebook </a>and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/keato_kids/" target="_blank">Instagram</a>, in order to help other kids and families eat cleaner and sugar-free.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
When I went to my GYN follow up appointment last week, she was shocked with my weight loss, but wasn't surprised by the reduction in hot flashes. She said carbs and sugar play a big part in hot flashes, added to the cyclical ups and downs of sugar rushes. She was pleased with the results and decided there's no need to increase hormones at this time.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So, as of now, I'm praying that things remain as good as they are. Hormones are in check. Hot flashes are in check. Weight is in check. Life is in check.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Until next time my friends...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Lots of love,</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather</div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-10835012374269785782017-07-24T21:17:00.002-04:002017-07-24T21:23:16.429-04:002 Years Post Bilateral Mastectomy and Reconstruction<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm calm.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That's all I can really say. The past two years have given me a calmness I haven't known since my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was a child. I always had that fear of the unknown in my head. I was always thinking of myself as a ticking time bomb, just waiting for the diagnosis. Because, lets be real, once you have a grandmother and mother go through the breast cancer diagnosis, and you get his with the confirmation that you carry the BRCA1 gene, how could you not?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So fast forward two years from my surgery, and I no longer fear anything with my health. I made it through my 40th birthday with the biggest sigh of relief, as it was just after my mom's 40th that she was diagnosed. I don't have to go to appointments every six months for MRIs and mammograms. I'm "normal". </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As for my implants, I haven't had any issues since the "lump" I had in my last update. It was just surgical scaring. But lets be real, when you're in a position like mine, you react quickly and get EVERYTHING checked out. I was relieved to know that my lump was nothing to worry about and I could continue moving on.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The implants themselves look great. You can't see my scar as its so well hidden underneath the breast, and they feel great. They look like they did when I was younger, before having kids, not like having implants. I have no more pain, no more nerve twinges and I even got some feeling back in areas that I thought would be numb forever. Now don't get me wrong, there are still numb areas, but I'm just happy its not all of it.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRMNRFdbywqvOi1suwmNDY7QpQRYJo6u6T9susZ2uAfYmR1oAuPjJzTJtDy2PcpFZMZxhhHQlj0KWgwFz34n17t6rsEAd5wjBioBKUbMpnjH1HaknPY7fg43AG7znEr5y3TuLRe1EUx44/s1600/19657232_10158988843900187_1622043591790993204_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRMNRFdbywqvOi1suwmNDY7QpQRYJo6u6T9susZ2uAfYmR1oAuPjJzTJtDy2PcpFZMZxhhHQlj0KWgwFz34n17t6rsEAd5wjBioBKUbMpnjH1HaknPY7fg43AG7znEr5y3TuLRe1EUx44/s320/19657232_10158988843900187_1622043591790993204_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Feeling great and traveling the world with a new view of life.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I know there are so many options these days for reconstruction...you just have to pick the option that works best for you. If you'd like more information about DIEP surgery, using your own tissue instead of implants, please visit my friend's page, <a href="http://www.diepcfoundation.org/" target="_blank">DIEP C Foundation</a>. She has a wealth of information. Also, reach out to any of the doctors at <a href="https://prma-enhance.com/" target="_blank">PRMA</a>, mine being <a href="https://twitter.com/drchrysopoulo" target="_blank">Dr. C</a>, as they truly are miracle workers and family for life.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As for reconstruction updates, I think this is it! Two years out, doing great! If anything changes, I'll be back, and if you have questions at any point, please feel free to reach out. I'm always here, even if I'm not updating on my mastectomy. Make sure you check out my oophorectomy posts if you feel that you're going down that road as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Lots of love.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Heather</div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-56708729047230331732016-09-10T22:05:00.001-04:002016-09-17T01:48:04.802-04:009 Months Post Oophorectomy<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's been a while since I've updated on either my breast reconstruction or my oophorectomy, but figured now is as good a time as any. I'm starting with my oophorectomy update, as it's been the most life changing. And since I'm sitting here getting reflexology, I'm nice and calm which puts me in a good mindset for this discussion.</span></div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Which One is Harder?</span></h3>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Everyone seems to think the breast reconstruction would be the harder of the two to go through. I'll give you this...surgery wise, yes, it's a complicated and long one. Immediate healing and recovery, yes, it takes months to feel healed. Long term effects...for me, no, the reconstruction was over and done. But I'm still in the thick of oophorectomy healing nine months later. The oophorectomy wins as being harder...physically and emotionally. The effects have been far more difficult for me to deal with on a day to day basis than the mastectomy.</span><br />
</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was very upfront in my previous posts about the oophorectomy preparation and the first couple weeks after the operation. But then I stopped writing. I was having a very hard time with all of the changes that were happening to me and didn't feel it was the right time to write through those emotions. But after time has passed, I'm realizing I might never feel like I used to, and it's time to accept it and let others know just in case someone else feels like I did...do. </span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I took extended leave to start. Originally, I requested a couple weeks, but when it was time to go back to work, I couldn't. I was having anxiety attacks, couldn't handle the hot flashes and my belly button wasn't healing. I extended my time off by another week, just to try and settle everything and deal with my emotions. With my mastectomy, I knew I had the 8-10 weeks I needed for healing, and truth be told, I was in Bali in week 6, so recovery was great. The first thing with the oophorectomy I had to acknowledge were the hot flashes, then I could figure out the other things happening in this new body of mine.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Hot Flashes</span></h3>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm going to do my best to explain how they feel, to me. <span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">For someone who has recently been told, in the last year, that I suffer from claustrophobia, the hot flashes actually made me feel trapped in a way, temporarily, and cause great anxiety. First, I feel nausea. Like I'm going to be sick. This is when my brain starts saying, "no, no, no," and I get uneasy. But after maybe 30-45 seconds, when my heart begins racing, I realize it's a hot flash coming. The nausea subsides and I start feeling this warmth radiating through my core, up and into my chest/arms/neck, then finally into the head. My body glistens and this lasts for about 3-5 minutes. I grab anything near me to fan myself through to the end. I don't feel any cold air around me, even if the AC is cranked and the fan is blowing on me. And then, it goes away. This happens 8-10 times during waking hours. I don't know why I even bother putting makeup on as I wipe it off with each dab of sweat with my Kleenex. My daughter once went to lie on my in the midst of a hot flash, and as soon as she put her head on me, she exclaimed, "mommy, you're hot!"</span></span><br />
</div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></h3>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">Other Side Effects </span></span></h3>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Another side effect of the surgery is the <b>weight gain</b>. I wasn't aware of this one. But I can't fit into any pants I wore pre-surgery. Nine months later, eating healthier and quitting alcohol consumption during the week, I still can't get into my pants. Luckily, we don't have winter here in Singapore, so I can live in my dresses and skirts, but honestly, nothing else has changed, so hormones are definitely to blame. It sounds petty to be so concerned about this after everything I've gone through, but it weighs in (no pun intended) in the back of my mind every morning I get dressed.</span><br />
</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Skin elasticity, tone</b> and increased overall skin <b>pain</b> is another strange side effect I'm dealing with. I noticed over the first few months after surgery that my skin gradually started losing it's shine and tone. It was looking more like my grandmother's skin than my own. And then massages started to hurt, both in the layers under the skin and on the surface. My skin was sensitive. Of course I still get massages, but I grimace through certain areas of my body being touched.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Sleep</b>? I was the queen of sleeping, ask my husband. I could nap 2 hours then sleep a full 10 hours at night, no problem. I loved sleep. I could have married sleep. But almost immediately after surgery, I had lost the ability to fall asleep, let alone stay asleep. If I was lucky enough to fall asleep, the hot flashes would wake me instantly. So, I now take half a Unisom nightly just to get me through the night. Not a great way to live by any means, but a good night's sleep really is important for the body in so many ways.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Leg Cramps</b> have been awful. I will just bend my toes slightly, and my foot goes into spasm. In bed, if I stretch too much, immediate cramping surges through my legs. I jump out of bed at night, walking around the dark room, silently wincing at the pain I'm going through so as not to wake up my husband.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Lastly, and it has to be discussed if we're going to be honest, is <b>libido</b>. It went out the window, never to return in the past 9 months since surgery. And not just libido, your body stops producing any sort of moisture at all. It sucks, and I'm not going to lie, be embarrassed nor sugarcoat this one. You must be fully aware that this might happen and you need to prepare your spouse or partner for the possibility. I don't think this is something easily discussed and it can really affect a woman's self-perception, as well as the relationship.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So, it's quite a list of things I now deal with on a daily basis. All this because I traded the uncertainty of my future for peace of mind that I'd be around for my kids. I don't regret that at all. But why grant myself this peace and longevity if it was going to leave me miserable? That's not right either. It's about quality of life and I want to enjoy mine. This leads me into the hot and often volatile topic of HRT.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIcbICFdGK3kIqAwQQ_pXcaojLTlw8p8S_-v8xfY5Weo_A7dDeI_vkmfj4lnWcbXxoYKzZgiceoahkSnBMJajhfsSWurQ-HUEozAEz0XzeEC450Gk4PDn6rQj-c7ZmkG9bJsacJplEqVw/s320/blogger-image-1957453641.jpg" width="320" /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">HRT</span></h3>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">About a month ago, I finally decided enough is enough. I was tired of menopause making me feel miserable, and quite frankly, old. I went to my team of doctors for help, and three out of four said HRT would be totally fine. They brought up research articles in the offices, they took my blood to check how I was doing since surgeries, they ran ultrasounds, did fat analysis, etc., and concluded...it was ok. I walked out of one doctor's office with my progesterone pill and estrogen cream and felt good about it. </span><br />
</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">However, that bag with the prescriptions has sat there untouched for the past month, haunting me. I was nervous. What if it was the wrong decision? Would everything I've done be reversed all in vain? I was listening to the devil on my shoulder as well as the many believers of the 'no HRT' camp, telling me not to do it. But what about the other camp? You've got to read both books and make an educated decision.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A month later, yesterday, I had yet another appointment and this time, I got clarity. The most recent article shown to me being from August 2016, approving HRT to people like me...no cancer history but BRCA+. I just had to dive in and make a decision. So, tonight I did it. I took my first pill and my dose of estrogen cream. It feels weird to make this decision, but I'm also hoping and praying for the best. I know I'll always have nay-sayers, but who doesn't? No one can really tell me what's best for me, but me.</span></div>
</div>
<div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></h3>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ongoing Journal Updates</span></h3>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Three days after starting HRT, I noticed my hot flashes were getting better. I went from 8-10 a day, to around 5.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Five days after starting HRT, my legs cramps are gone. I can stretch to my hearts content without spasms.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Six days later, I'm an emotional wreck. I fear this one because I have to be very careful that I'm not slipping into depression. Everything is making me cry and I'm feeling quite alone. I know this is the hormones, because for the last 9 months, I've barely shed a tear since the estrogen was removed from my body. </span><span style="font-family: times, times new roman, serif;"> </span></span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-25949189060326361422016-01-16T02:05:00.000-05:002016-09-11T21:04:09.219-04:00My First Lump Experience, After Mastectomy<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Let me start with this, EVERY lump and bump will worry me for the rest of my life. It's not over just because I had surgery. If a lump forms, I'm going to worry. That being said, I'm also going to let you know that this lump I found turned out to be a suspected undulation of the implant, so you can continue reading just for the education and my experience.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>Thursday</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b><br></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
At this point, I'm seven months post surgery, and overall doing great. When you have a <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/search/label/mastectomy" target="_blank">mastectomy with implant reconstruction</a>, you're bound to still have numb areas of the breast, like I do. When I get an itch that I need to scratch, its sometimes hard to find and satisfy with a scratch, causing a bit of a comical scene. Two nights ago (Thursday night), while lying in bed, one of these itching scenarios happened, which led me to finding my first ever lump in my breast.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
You're probably thinking, "What? You can't get lumps after having a mastectomy!"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Well, yes you can, actually. </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: start;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.52px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As many people may know, the risk of recurrent breast cancer after any type of mastectomy is not zero. A woman who has had a mastectomy can still get breast cancer, although there is a very low risk of recurrence. This is because it is not humanly possible for a surgeon to remove every microscopic cell of breast tissue. The goal, however, of mastectomy is to remove any gross visible breast tissue seen by the surgeon. In contrast, at the nipple all that is left behind is skin. (</span></span><span style="line-height: 20.52px;">http://medicine.stonybrookmedicine.edu/surgery/blog/faqs-about-nipple-sparing-mastectomy-what-women-need-to-know)</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
There a couple types of lumps and/or hardness which can occur after a mastectomy with reconstruction, and I'm learning about all of them now, only because of the lump I discovered <b>(See below for different types of lumps)</b>. When I found it, my first reaction, within those first couple seconds was, no, not possible. Nothing was visible from the outside; no rippling, no redness and nothing sore. I ignored it for maybe an hour, but then came back to it, making sure I was feeling what I thought I was feeling. I rubbed it, tried to roll it between fingers...anything I could do to try and decipher whether it was muscle, a true lump or my imagination. <br>
<br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmKbTSuFHZYJotHn9Ma-JiRUqsWuJLIPmAbHCIRjlhSd22wcyXi6n0kgdWb2x5Sgxj_nv9mTX22cewj_W4M_OE1BkPB8EKf7U6sRSIeoG0mSHJP4auCrcc5HxYANnryphYCs-OAEjEMEY/s1600/This_is_a_keep_calm_poem_it_helps_u_to_make_ur_feelings_feel_better_and_to_get_over_it%2521-%2529_2013-12-20_09-46.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmKbTSuFHZYJotHn9Ma-JiRUqsWuJLIPmAbHCIRjlhSd22wcyXi6n0kgdWb2x5Sgxj_nv9mTX22cewj_W4M_OE1BkPB8EKf7U6sRSIeoG0mSHJP4auCrcc5HxYANnryphYCs-OAEjEMEY/s1600/This_is_a_keep_calm_poem_it_helps_u_to_make_ur_feelings_feel_better_and_to_get_over_it%2521-%2529_2013-12-20_09-46.jpg"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">By User:Starr4ever:) (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I proceeded to feel all around both breasts. Smooth as butter...can't feel a single lump, ridge, fiber...nothing but smoothness. I went back to this area. Yep, definitely different. At that point, I got online and messaged my plastic surgeon (thank goodness for social media). Now, most people would say, you felt a lump, go get it checked no matter what...why are you taking time to get online? Well, I was in half panic and half denial, he's my breast surgeon and I was alone in my house. I needed to reach out, get outside of my own head, and seek advice. He said it could be fat necrosis or scar tissue, but he knows I won't have peace of mind until I have an ultrasound.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I then messaged my GYN who just completed my Oophorectomy on What's App with what I had found and my surgeon's suggestion. Again, you're asking why her? Well, it's night time, offices are closed, and she's online. I needed to talk to someone here, in Singapore, to get some sort of ball rolling. She agreed with my surgeon and asked if she should schedule an appointment with someone for me. I don't know why, but I started to doubt myself at this point, and didn't immediately respond to her. I became embarrassed. Am I overreacting? Is this all because I'm terrified it actually could be something, so I naturally want to avoid it? Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? ZERO pun intended. I'll tell you this ladies, no one can tell you how to react or when to be scared when you are high risk and have gone through these surgeries to try and save your life. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I finally wrote back and told her I'd wait until my husband got home, and have him see if he could feel what I had felt. I know, why wait and why did I need him to feel too? For me, it was like my pregnancy test. I didn't believe the first one, and proceeded to take three more before believing I was pregnant. I had to wait until the next morning for my husband due to his late nights this week. </div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>Friday</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
When my husband felt, he definitely felt the lump too. He couldn't tell if it was round or not, or if it was muscle or not. But he could feel something. After he left for work, I screamed the F word a few times and I broke down, sobbing like a baby for a few minutes. It doesn't help that I'm sleep deprived and my hormones are out of whack. I messaged a few close friends, just for support, because it really can be lonely when you live overseas, and I tried gathering some strength from their positivity. After pulling it together, I messaged my GYN, as well as my physician/oncologist, Dr. Tucker, and let them know that I was ready to move forward in putting my mind at rest. Because really, how cruel can the world be, after all I've been through? It had to be nothing.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I couldn't seem to get an appointment anywhere last minute. I tried my follow up breast doctor, fully booked throughout January. Dr. Tucker's office tried another doctor, fully booked. While this was all happening, I noticed my belly button incision from my oophorectomy was red, tender and slightly oozing. Two weeks post surgery I wouldn't expect this to happen. So, lets add one more thing onto the plate and message my GYN again. Bam, I had an appointment scheduled for first thing Saturday morning, 8:30am (today). I cried a lot today. It was a mixture of releasing a lot of tension from this year, disbelief that I am actually going through these movements right now and just overall exhaustion.</div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>Saturday</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This morning I was on my way to my GYN. Upon examination of my belly button after the <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/search/label/oophorectomy" target="_blank">oophorectomy</a>, I was given some ointment to use twice a day to help it heal. We then got down to business regarding the breast lump. She felt the left breast first, getting a baseline of what my new implant breasts feel like. She didn't want me to tell her where the lump was on the right breast, to see if she could discover it on her own. Sure enough she did...1:00 position, 1/2 in in size. She got me into an 11:00am slot with her breast surgeon, Dr. Woon, and I was off, yet again, to another appointment.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Upon arrival at the next hospital, it was lucky that the elevator lobby was so crowded that it began sending me into panic from too many people, because I was able to walk the nine flights of stairs which helped me focus, calm down and exhaust myself a bit. By the time I made it into the doctor's waiting room, I was too tired to panic or worry anymore. Dr. Woon called me in, went over my history of BRCA1, surgeries and other health history, then had me get on the examination table. She felt it right away, and she too wondered what it was. Out came the ultrasound, but she couldn't find a thing. Everything was smooth and clear. No cysts. She seemed a bit perplexed, so poked a little deeper until she saw some undulations in the implant where I had felt the lump. She then attributed what I'm going through to just that, undulations. Now, I'm no doctor, so of course I'm going to relay this information back to my surgeon, just so he can help me understand all this, but he's sleeping right now, so an answer will have to wait. :) </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The one thing that rings in my ears from today, is my GYN telling me, "you're allowed to overreact, because its not overreacting in your case. We want you to be vigilant, we want you checking and we want to be preventive." So, while some people will never know what its like to feel a lump, thank goodness, others need to know its ok to panic and its ok to seek attention asap. </div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWWKKYaEIZoen_2Z2UvozAtXJ2nop6xifo0fbedNNUouWwIz2tLBK1oWUNexnGrxVXoej3G9j-gBfOn7SgVrWI9eupmPMLhZGM8jXlAVO3wx0Ys2rwpltGHlZC4fiRdqvLrW8KM-M7Xic/s1600/Keep_calm_cure_cancer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWWKKYaEIZoen_2Z2UvozAtXJ2nop6xifo0fbedNNUouWwIz2tLBK1oWUNexnGrxVXoej3G9j-gBfOn7SgVrWI9eupmPMLhZGM8jXlAVO3wx0Ys2rwpltGHlZC4fiRdqvLrW8KM-M7Xic/s1600/Keep_calm_cure_cancer.jpg"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">By Burningrome (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br></div>
<h3 style="text-align: start;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Types of lumps:</span></h3>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>Fat necrosis:</b> (I did not have flap surgery, but necrosis can still happen with leftover areas)</span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: start;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24.2667px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Occasionally there can be a phenomenon called “fat necrosis” in the newly reconstructed breast mound. That is when the fat from the abdominal flap does not receive enough blood supply in its new position and forms a scar as a result. It will manifest as a hard lump under the breast skin which can feel alarming upon detection. Your plastic surgeon can usually differentiate between fat necrosis and cancer recurrence on clinical examination. If there is any doubt, then you will undergo a needle biopsy or a MRI to arrive at a diagnosis. (</span></span><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="line-height: 24.2667px;">http://www.bra-day.com/breast-reconstruction/)</span></span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>Capsular Contracture: (remember my <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/07/capsular-contracture-and-implant.html" target="_blank">Victoria Secret exercises </a>I do?)</b></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: start;">
<span style="color: #111111; line-height: 22px;">If you had implant reconstruction and you feel hardness in the breast area, it may be the result of capsular contracture. Capsular contracture occurs when a hard tissue capsule forms around the implant. It can be small and barely noticeable, or it can become very painful and distort the shape of the breast. Let your doctor know if you see or feel any of these symptoms. (</span><span style="color: #111111;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">http://www.breastcancer.org/treatment/surgery/reconstruction/screening)</span></span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>Scaring:</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b><br></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
Plain and simple, it could be a bit of scaring from the overall surgery, since there was scraping and disruption all over. </div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<b><span style="color: #ea9999;">Calcification Deposits:</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<b><span style="color: #ea9999;"><br></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
Hard lumps under the skin, around the implant. They can be mistaken for cysts/tumors.</div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b>Cysts:</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: start;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><b><br></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I can't find clear/medical evidenced based information on this right now, but I read a few (ok, a lot) of forums where women find lumps and bumps all the time after mastectomy and reconstruction surgeries, most ending up to be benign cysts. Yes, it's totally plausible to continue getting these, even after you've had a mastectomy. Many of the women spoke of these being skin cysts, found in the remaining tissue after surgery.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="text-align: justify;">* Update...nothing was wrong, it was just part of the implant. Everything is ok, but there's no such thing as overreaction when it comes to lumps with a family history.</div>
<div>
<br></div>
</div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-27249452036811891452016-01-13T06:15:00.001-05:002016-01-13T06:15:49.217-05:00Two Weeks Post Oophorectomy"Its as if you woke up!"<br />
<br />
This is what my husband says about me now, ever since the surgery.<br />
<br />
I've got this lack of sleep thing happening still. It's technically 17 days post-op, but close enough, and I can't sleep. Really, its awful. If I weren't to take any supplements or meds, I'd probably stay wide awake till midnight or 1am! With Unisom or Xanax, I can sleep off and on through the night, waking only 3-4 times to hot flashes. But because my doctor doesn't think either of those are good options long term, she had two mixtures made for me. I picked them up two days ago, so I've only had two nights taking them. You can see the labels below to get an idea of the strength and what's in them. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmswrtDcfGJnr_7LGrGSzDvw6Qd0gBcw9f4UiwuZgUaXdDCyDsSA9Mr__DaXbBAElEIXvo-ZDThgHLqHerAbuQPdeLSCjzlKfsXeX23ghC5TdvVJAiNMoOlhFJrhmiHnw9mD3e9q9k6f0/s1600/FullSizeRender1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmswrtDcfGJnr_7LGrGSzDvw6Qd0gBcw9f4UiwuZgUaXdDCyDsSA9Mr__DaXbBAElEIXvo-ZDThgHLqHerAbuQPdeLSCjzlKfsXeX23ghC5TdvVJAiNMoOlhFJrhmiHnw9mD3e9q9k6f0/s320/FullSizeRender1.jpeg" width="170" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL8I_HZy7td8WdNqGD1Z-BUS639y9o1hk9b5G3Mc_RO3s9q3iLIPGauJ6DD-tKlR9-l9zB84LCNNeCqbqixBVIBUaGGTojna6-oIVd7HVD_qkOkDIYkkO5ZM3mwjcODt2JtSVSoSG0CZ0/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL8I_HZy7td8WdNqGD1Z-BUS639y9o1hk9b5G3Mc_RO3s9q3iLIPGauJ6DD-tKlR9-l9zB84LCNNeCqbqixBVIBUaGGTojna6-oIVd7HVD_qkOkDIYkkO5ZM3mwjcODt2JtSVSoSG0CZ0/s320/FullSizeRender.jpeg" width="237" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
For the melatonin, I'm taking 10 drops under the tongue for two weeks, I'll then go down to 5 drops for as long as I need. Melatonin is completely safe, so she feels this is the best option. However, she did warn me of one thing...vivid dreaming for the first few nights. Well, lets break down night one and night two thus far.<br />
<br />
<b>Night 1: </b><br />
I took the pills right after dinner, and the melatonin 30 minutes to bed time (I was shooting for a 9:00 bedtime because I'm really so very tired.) It took me a while to fall asleep, and once I did, I was up again about 20 minutes later. This persisted ALL NIGHT LONG. I think I watched the clock go through every hour. And because I wasn't sleeping, I was feeling every single hot flash. My arms are getting stronger from tossing the covers off and pulling them on all night. Needless to say, the next morning I felt like I was hit by a truck, suffering from overall exhaustion. <br />
<br />
<b>Night 2:</b><br />
I took the pills after dinner, and the melatonin 30 minutes to bed time. I was up off and on from 9-1am. But come 1am, I was able to sleep pretty soundly, only waking maybe 4 times to hot flashes, till 6am. The strangest part was how vivid my dreams were. Wow! I woke up and told my husband everything. I feel so-so today as I'm still very tired and not getting my normal amount of sleep. The lack of sleep is also causing me to be pretty weepy. Tears right behind my eyeballs at all times. I'm supposed to give it two more nights for my brain to figure out this melatonin thing and learn how to sleep again, and the dreams should calm down and I should begin sleeping better and better.<br />
<br />
Some may wonder why this is such a big deal, this sleep thing. My doctor is concerned not only for my overall health and sanity, but because this is nothing like pre-surgery, when I was a sleeper. I'm a natural born sleeper. Doctors have tested me all my life for anemia because I sleep so much. Whether as a little kid, in high school, in college or later...I sleep. I can sleep for 9-10 hours at night, and still take an hour nap during the day. I love sleep. I really, really miss sleep. What's happening now is not me. However, my husband loves it as he finally has a partner with which to watch movies and late night TV.<br />
<br />
Other than the sleep, everything is pretty ok. My scars have healed beautifully, my stitches have fallen out, my tenderness is getting much better and my overall health is great. I'm now on constant monitoring though, with more frequent check ups to make sure my heart stays healthy (higher risk for heart problems), my cholesterol sorts itself out and my bones remain as strong as possible. MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-28272938703373010702016-01-07T05:06:00.004-05:002016-01-10T05:53:14.977-05:00Day 10 Post OophorectomyRather than the day by day play at this point, I figured it was ok to let a few days go by before filling you in again. So, here I am, in my normal writing spot (my bed), ready to fill in you in on the last five days since we last chatted.<br />
<br />
I ended up having a second follow up appointment yesterday, as there are some things we're still working out since the surgery. The number one thing is the fact that I was once a HUGE sleeper, naturally. Now, I don't get tired. Seriously, at 11pm I'm asking my husband, "ok, what movie should we watch next?" This is a problem as it has totally altered my daily norm, including my ability to feel rested and well healed. My doctor feels this is a problem too, for the exact same reasons. We've decided to work on this side effect from surgery first. As we speak, a compound pharmacy is concocting a mixture of a higher dose of melatonin mixed with some tryptophan...yes, turkey sleepy juice. I will start with 10 drops under the tongue each night and then ween to 5. I can take it for as long as I want, if it works. No side effects. I was going to go on Effexor, but after reading all the negative side effects, I decided to start with this and give it a try. I'll let you know how it goes.<br />
<br />
I've been out and about three times, and all three times were full on long days of walking and being out with the family. I noticed that about two hours in, my abdomen begins to ache and I'm reminded that I actually had things cut and removed from inside my body while all I focus on are the incisions on the outside which seem to minor. The scars looks GREAT! Pin pricks really. They are very tender though, and as clothes rub on them and I bend and stretch, they get agitated and everything aches. My fear right now is getting bumped or hit in the stomach...I'm a school teacher.<br />
<br />
I've had some major hot flash attacks occur, which has lead me into my second obstacle throughout recovery...anxiety. Somewhere within the past two years, I've had about ten to fifteen incidences of what I call, panic attacks. These same feeling are also happening during some of my hot flashes. After a long discussion with my doctor, she has identified me as having claustrophobia. My first experience was in an MRI machine 1/2 way into my 45 min. scan a couple years ago. Apparently, according to my doctor, the major hot flashes I have every so often, put my body into the same exact feeling I get when I have a claustrophobic attack, and my mind therefore reacts the same...I want out. This has been hard to deal with, but for now, I'm trying to deal with this med free. As of now, my doctor has given me a full month of recovery time off work, I'm in week two. I think I'll only last a third week off, and I'll want to go back to work from sheer boredom already. <br />
<br />
Other things to note at this time:<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<b>Sleep:</b><br />
Still not sleeping without the assistance of Unisom or Xanax. A compound pharmacy is making me a strong dose of melatonin and tryptophan as we speak. I'll let you know how this works.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<br />
<b>Pain Killers:</b><br />
No pain killers, not even Panadol, for the past five days. The pain isn't bad enough, just achy and tender.<br />
<br />
<b>Hot Flashes:</b><br />
Well, as you read above, I am having them, and they do wake me up when I've finally managed to fall asleep. I have purchased a recommended product called a cool pillow. I used it last night, and yes, it did make a difference in my head temperature, but my lower body still got hot, obviously. However, it was nice to have the coolness against my face. I really need to work on the panic attacks during these flashes. I'm constantly throwing the covers off and on throughout the night, so I know my sleep is interrupted no matter what.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUYVdRK4Nju92jOPL1mIxRVdhORcs-85_ChXo_0bLq3WlRHCpGbV0gJc4V3dkDmJS2DvhiX21vaLZCKmlLK3SVpH6yUxQ7UNHUrSsLCKDPW7y4ksujakePUQjK0tRYrNSV4uHa-mu6tcc/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUYVdRK4Nju92jOPL1mIxRVdhORcs-85_ChXo_0bLq3WlRHCpGbV0gJc4V3dkDmJS2DvhiX21vaLZCKmlLK3SVpH6yUxQ7UNHUrSsLCKDPW7y4ksujakePUQjK0tRYrNSV4uHa-mu6tcc/s320/FullSizeRender.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<br />
<b>Crying:</b><br />
I don't cry regularly by any means, but I can feel that I am very emotional and if the right thing was said, I'd cry right then and there. </div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<br />
<b>Physical:</b><br />
Feeling ok. Able to go out for a day at a time here and there, although the next day I'm totally exhausted. Bandages were off two days ago, no real pain...just aching.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<b>No HRT?:</b></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
Nope, no HRT for now. We did talk about the possibility of the progesterone cream if my hot flashes don't work themselves out in the next couple weeks.<br />
<br />
<b>Bleeding:</b><br />
Still bleeding, but doctor says its normal. It's more of a pain in the butt right now.</div>
<br />MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-44498794084893804222016-01-02T07:52:00.001-05:002016-01-02T18:52:20.312-05:00Day 5 Post Oophorectomy Follow Up Appointment<div style="text-align: justify;">* Updated to include my nighttime happenings in day 5.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="text-align: justify;">
Hooray for day five! See, with every down, there must be an up. Yes, yesterday was an awful day. I fear, on these down days, that I'll get stuck in them and that's how life will be from now on. But then, I have these awesome good days, my up days, like today. The up days are what recharge us, keep us going, remind us what the heck we're doing this all for. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I had my follow up appointment this morning with my amazing doctor, Dr. Dharshini. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, she is my comedic relief, but in a totally good way. She is so real with me, to the point (those of you who know me know that I do enjoy the sugar coating every so often), but makes it palatable, relatable and just digestible. When you're going through major life changing surgeries, let alone, milestones, you need someone like that in your life. This time, I brought my husband with me, the first time he actually got to sit through an appointment regarding my oophorectomy (hey, he met my mastectomy surgeon online for the first time, just like me, so this isn't all that strange.) I was excited for him to meet Dr. Dharshini so that he could share in my enjoyment of my appointments and understand my affinity for her.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I explained everything happening over the past four days...the sweating, insomnia, the foggy brain feeling, the low blood sugar feeling, the crying...shall I go on? Everything to her, was fine. She attributed most everything to the fact that I just had MAJOR SURGERY, removing my freaking hormones overnight. (I stress this part for those of you reading this who think this was a minor surgery and a walk in the park.) She was most concerned about my insomnia, as sleep is a major factor in healing and overall emotional health, and said that this would be her focus for right now. This pleased me greatly, as my husband pointed out, I LOVE sleep. I'd hate to break up with it.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwRvGrv2U5Hi4YvU7uJTgV9q_tTGN9RxqAEmTFNSl2E8oEpmXYiAeK4DgJGSaPgemKzay-X3opt7iaTbpYE4HnOTxjDNfWRer9POehxYaCeLFWnrP8axpuCKNuWguRq-4m0g3CvMT3CeU/s1600/Andrew_Stevovich_oil_painting%252C_Woman_with_Autumn_Leaves%252C_1994%252C_36-_x_72-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwRvGrv2U5Hi4YvU7uJTgV9q_tTGN9RxqAEmTFNSl2E8oEpmXYiAeK4DgJGSaPgemKzay-X3opt7iaTbpYE4HnOTxjDNfWRer9POehxYaCeLFWnrP8axpuCKNuWguRq-4m0g3CvMT3CeU/s1600/Andrew_Stevovich_oil_painting%252C_Woman_with_Autumn_Leaves%252C_1994%252C_36-_x_72-.jpg"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">By Andr.V.S. (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
After describing all of my concerns and issues I was having, she did the physical exam in the next room. I do not look at graphic photos, so I already passed on the surgery photos, but I don't look at wounds, sutures or anything else to do with cutting, bleeding, etc. So, staring at the lovely plain white ceiling, I twiddled my fingers on my chest while she poked and prodded my surgical sites, removing the bandages and re-bandaging at my request. My belly button actually felt fine during the cleaning and overall check. It even felt fine when she pressed on it, several times. It wasn't until about 20 minutes after the exam that I started aching, more than normal, for the first time since surgery. She obviously touched a trigger point.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Back in her office, we resumed our conversation about the side effects of surgery, the side effects of the lack of estrogen, and what our plan would be for now. So, here we go (with updates):</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<b>Sleep:</b><br>I told her I was taking Unisom the past two nights, and she wasn't too thrilled with me relying on something like that for sleep. I'm now on Melatonin, nightly, to see if it helps. If this doesn't help, we'll take the next steps, but she's hoping this does the trick.</div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">* Update: last night was AWFUL. The insomnia was back, but worse, every 20 minutes I was throwing the covers off and drenched in sweat. At 1am, I was turning to my online lovelies for support, but tears welled. This happened with the AC on and the fan pointed directly at me.<br><br><b>Pain Killers:</b><br>No more pain killers, and really, I'm on Panadol irregularly now. Despite the pain I felt after today's exam, overall, I really don't NEED anything.<br><br><b>Hot Flashes:</b><br>Interestingly, she mentioned that many women who remove their ovaries like me, preventive and losing estrogen all at once, often don't experience hot flashes like women going through natural menopause. It's usually much easier, less frequent, if at all. After talking to women online, I know that I've heard from both camps, so not sure on this yet. However, I can say that I'm overall generally warmer than normal. I used to be cold all the time...now, I don't even want my pj bottoms on.<br><br>* Update: Yes, they do exist...and for me, it was 100% noticeable all night long. Perhaps I don't notice them during the day as much because I'm busy, but last night, every 20 minutes and they were furious. </div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><br><b>Gas:</b><br>Gone! No more gas, hallelujah! Now, just a little bloating from the surgery swelling, but no gas.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<br><b>Crying:</b><br>I didn't cry today, but she did mention it will take a while to regulate all these emotions...about a month, to see how I'm really doing.</div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;"><br></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">* Update: Cried tonight! Go figure!</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<br><b>Physical:</b><br>We went out after the appointment again, enjoying a couple hours out of the house. It pushed me as I had just had my stomach poked and prodded and was walking through the pain, but it was good for me. No crying, no hot flashes, no blood sugar issues...just, what I would call, extreme fatigue. I'm now on daily vitamin B complex to help with my energy throughout the day. I'm also on 5000mg of vitamin D for my bones, as they are very susceptible to deterioration from this point on.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
<b>No HRT?:</b></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px; text-align: justify;">
Nope, no HRT for now. Here's how she explained it to me. I've just gone through major surgery to remove my ovaries, which produce estrogen, which to a person who has had breast cancer or has the BRCA1 gene, is not a good fit. This is controversial, so I'm only stating what is happening for me, at this time, based on my doctor's recommendation. For her, putting me on any dose of estrogen right now is basically saying, then why did you even have the surgery in the first place? She went on to say that if I continue having issues physically/mentally, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, at which point she might be forced to put me on a very low dose of estrogen. But for now, she doesn't want to. It was relieving to hear that fat can help produce some amounts of estrogen...so the fat in my belly is actually helping something!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div><div style="text-align: justify;">* Update: We're gonna have ourselves a little sit down, heart to heart about this. I will not live like last night.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-14439116849098996342016-01-01T05:19:00.001-05:002016-01-01T05:28:52.610-05:00Day 4 Post Oophorectomy<div style="text-align: justify;">
"I can't reverse what I've done." These are the words that came out of my mouth today as my eyes welled up with tears. I must remember why I did this. I must remember what my intentions were for doing something so drastic. Today was a hard day, a down between my ups day.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
After three days of being house bound, and desperately wanting to feel part of the ringing in of the New Year, I decided it would be fun to venture out to a nice lunch in a part of town we have yet to explore for New Year's Day. The taxi ride just kind of passed me by as I cradled my stomach for fear of each bump jostling my insides. I could hear my kids chattering away excitedly, but I couldn't tell you what they were talking about. By the time we arrived and were seated at our table, I felt as if my blood sugar had suddenly dropped. I was just a bystander at our table, voices muffled, action happening all around me, and there I was, trapped inside a body I didn't know. It was warm. I was getting scared. My husband asked if I was ok and my kids said I'd be really good at a staring contest in that moment. All I wanted was my glass of orange juice I'd ordered ten minutes earlier. I could see the man sitting near us checking me out every so often, I think my face looked of unmistakeable pain. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwqeKu18Qk2wBUCDWQSyxKU9gy9aOOfwOJMhUvKesGXncuyWTYPMWMnHAew5fNdrxf-j9Vw0JJQD6mNoQAnHUzKCkiWsIWvk1h37QBhGG2zZwjfaSpRrT0yajTKkN4fB_E_e1jTsgWKGo/s1600/FREE_Refreshing_Orange_Slice_Creative_Commons_%25282421441730%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwqeKu18Qk2wBUCDWQSyxKU9gy9aOOfwOJMhUvKesGXncuyWTYPMWMnHAew5fNdrxf-j9Vw0JJQD6mNoQAnHUzKCkiWsIWvk1h37QBhGG2zZwjfaSpRrT0yajTKkN4fB_E_e1jTsgWKGo/s1600/FREE_Refreshing_Orange_Slice_Creative_Commons_%25282421441730%2529.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">By Pink Sherbet Photography from USA (FREE Refreshing Orange Slice Creative Commons) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As I took my first sips of juice, tears streamed down my face. I was so thankful for that rush of sugar, that coolness of the fresh juice and for the return of the normal voices around me, allowing me to be a part of the scene. I can't explain what happened today during those moments. I've been off medication since 7 pm last night (it's now 5:45 pm the next day), so I know its not an effect of the drugs I've been on. Is it all part of the hormones regulating, learning how to deal without estrogen? I also needed a sleeping pill in order to sleep last night as I was WIDE AWAKE at midnight, with no intentions of falling asleep anytime soon. Hormones again? Was I having withdrawals of the sleep aid?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The rest of lunch was as it should be, filled with laughter, fun conversation and overall excitement for being together. We took a walk around the surrounding areas, looking at shops, making a list of other eateries we hoped to enjoy in the future and enjoying the fresh air. I noticed that I was holding my stomach every so often, feeling my insides rumble and my dressings crinkle. Walking became a bit slower when I finally said enough is enough. We were back in a taxi, heading to one more destination before home...the mall. I know, I should have avoided this at all costs, but we needed a collar of shame for our Yorkie who just had a procedure as well. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Being in the mall must have been what pushed me over the edge. I was hot and everything around me became muffled again. I begged my husband to run and grab me a cold, sugary drink. While I wanted to pour it all over me, I don't think the surrounding people would have appreciated it, so I drank it as normal. My stomach ached more with each step and I felt as if something was wrong...not rush to the hospital wrong, but not my normal self. It was time to go home. We grabbed what we needed and left. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was so relieved to open the door to our home, head into my air conditioned bedroom, peel off my clothes and hop in bed. I was out for the count, waking up two hours later. I feel fine now. But I've been resting. Perhaps my episodes today were hormones, perhaps it was just post surgical anesthesia adjustment, I still don't know. I can't find other episodes in blogs I look through. I'm desperate to find out if anyone else has been experiencing these things the week after surgery. But what I do know is I did not like any of how I felt and wanted so badly to reverse what I had done. But then, I'd be back at square one...fearing my future. So, for now, I'll take this as a down day, turn it around from here, and hope for the best tomorrow when I finally meet with my doctor and hopefully get some answers to what has been happening to me.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
<b>Sleep:</b><br />
I can't seem to sleep without a sleeping pill at night. I either a) can't turn off my brain enough to relax, or b) begin to panic with shallow breathing and feeling all over uncomfortable.<br />
<br />
<b>Medicine:</b><br />
I'm only on Panadol now...no more drugs. I'm very sensitive to drugs, so I'm wondering if any of this is just side effects I'm experiencing from pain killers. The Panadol hasn't even been very regular, so the pain is more of an ache...tolerable.<br />
<br />
<b>Hot Flashes:</b><br />
I don't know if what I'm experiencing are hot flashes. I do know that I'm the one who is always cold, everywhere we go, and I'm no longer that person. I am getting very warm in different situations, feeling sweaty palms and the heat rising in my face. If these are hot flashes, then I'm having them. If it's anxiety, then I'm having that. If it's none of the above, then I'm just hot. <br />
<br />
<b>Gas:</b><br />
It's WAY better today! Now, my stomach still is enlarged, forcing me to wear elastic waisted clothing, but the gas feels so much better. I can tell its leaving, and hopefully just about done.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
<b>Crying:</b><br />
Well, you can pretty much tell from today's entry that my hormones are out of whack, and yes, I can pretty much cry at any moment right now. I always thought it was estrogen that made women cry, and here I am crying without it.<br />
<br />
<b>Anxiety:</b><br />
Yep, I'm gonna say I have a bit of that going on here...ok, a lot. Maybe if I took Xanax during the day, a lot of this would go away. I haven't tried that yet, I'll ask my doctor tomorrow.<br />
<br />
<b>Physical:</b><br />
The belly button surgical site is now bruising and I can see the bruise peeking out of the bandaged area. I guess this is part of healing. It's still the most tender area when strained or touched. The other two areas aren't very noticeable. I shower just fine, walk, for the most part, fine and get on with my day without actual pain. Discomfort is the word.</div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-22058984537552075242015-12-31T05:41:00.002-05:002015-12-31T05:41:30.634-05:00Thank You 2015, For Saving My Life<div style="text-align: justify;">
2015.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I could say this was the worst year of my life.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I could say I want to put this all behind me and forget about it.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I could say so long 2015, bring on 2016.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I could say "why me?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But I won't. Instead, I will say thank you to 2015.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This year has happened for a reason. This year makes me, me. This year is an important marker in my life...and important year in my dash. On March 3, 2015, <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.com/2015/03/emotions-at-risk.html" target="_blank">I blogged for the first time</a> on this site, when I truly began my journey of healing and saving my life. I had finally made the decision to have a preventive mastectomy with reconstruction in June 2015, ten years after finding out I was BRCA1 positive. It was Thanksgiving Day, 2014, when I received my first abnormal mammogram, and I was tired of playing it safe through screenings. I wanted more assurance, I wanted to rid myself of the possibility of cancer. I wanted to focus on living, not live in fear of dying.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My mastectomy journey was actually a beautiful one. I was connected to the most wonderful team at <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/03/so-many-choices.html" target="_blank">PRMA in San Antonio, Texas</a>, including Patient Liaison Courtney, Nurse Denise and the amazing Dr. Chrysopoulo...all friends still today. This is my dream team who supported me before, during and after surgery. My friends who are still here today, checking in on me, sharing new studies of information and who are truly invested in me as a patient. They helped make Wonder Woman possible, because even Wonder Woman needs a dream team.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTabHSCznI3Dovg4IddPwUc5x1HnOXdrif7DZSG4TPj_NC6I2YRmGPYOcqtruVZ71QIX77Q0-SVt9i7EkM0tGWpz5xT9DW5sSks_3hgpCBkyYYHwMCqdeOZYaDo0l3f5tbRZDoPHhtLuI/s1600/blogger-image-354362882.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTabHSCznI3Dovg4IddPwUc5x1HnOXdrif7DZSG4TPj_NC6I2YRmGPYOcqtruVZ71QIX77Q0-SVt9i7EkM0tGWpz5xT9DW5sSks_3hgpCBkyYYHwMCqdeOZYaDo0l3f5tbRZDoPHhtLuI/s320/blogger-image-354362882.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I did it for her.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Choosing a <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/04/a-mastectomy-is-what-exactly.html" target="_blank">mastectomy </a>wasn't easy, nor did it come lightly. I researched a lot, blogged a lot and had a huge support system from friends and my online community. It was a long road to recovery, it required a lot of strength and positivity (as much as possible) and it was the best decision I ever made. I had made the choice to save my life and it was the right one for me. I went from an 85% chance of breast cancer to 1-2%. My fears of getting breast cancer are gone. My fears of having my children watch their mother suffer, like I did mine, are gone. My fears in general...are gone. And in return, I was fortunate enough to have an amazing microsurgeon take away my mutations and give me my beautiful womanly body back, all while I was sleeping for what seemed a short moment in time.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My recovery and my blogging from my mastectomy turned into a blessing. My voice reached far, letters and words of support poured in daily, women confused turned to me asking for advice...and three bucket list items happened within the next few months of recovery. 1. I published a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1511580267/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_BQ.Jvb1KMYBA0" target="_blank">book </a>based on my own experiences with my mom. 2. I was asked to write an article for <a href="http://www.parenting.com/parenting-advice/mom/losing-my-mother-to-breast-cancer-and-how-i-turned-my-experience-childrens-book">Parenting.com</a>. 3. I went to <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/07/moving-forward-and-letting-it-go-in.html">Bali</a> to complete my final healing...physically and mentally. I'm often called brave. I don't see it as brave. I see it as a choice I made and went through with for a brighter ending. Wonder Woman...I'll take it. Not because I have super hero powers, but because I made myself wonder just how much I really am capable of doing and how much power I really do have inside. Anyone can be a Wonder Woman...or any other inspirational character you choose. Dig deep within and find what makes you happy, feel strong, feel womanly and most importantly, makes you feel like you.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIvLqkDCFvve4RKFRVxtKn6h8zWiSkd33SDTEunYTJ-YTxtBvmdTjqZamOG8EUHoUdRHF3qZKsxFu-7pu_gJgavIsthFJ4YTF6MjJk3YEHPd08O18uhgUZP8nVZCCirIOAV1JZOnHxiFE/s1600/blogger-image-1534790195.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIvLqkDCFvve4RKFRVxtKn6h8zWiSkd33SDTEunYTJ-YTxtBvmdTjqZamOG8EUHoUdRHF3qZKsxFu-7pu_gJgavIsthFJ4YTF6MjJk3YEHPd08O18uhgUZP8nVZCCirIOAV1JZOnHxiFE/s320/blogger-image-1534790195.jpg" width="220" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I did it for her too.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In July of this year, I was back in the doctor's office, just over one month after my mastectomy, preparing for my <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/07/appointments-and-insurance-prior-to.html">bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy</a>. I tend to do things all at once, both feet in and jump. I went from college to post-graduate school to earning my Master's all in sequential years because I just wanted it all done. I set my sights on a vacation spot, and before my husband can answer the question "do you want to go there?", I've already priced it out and am asking for the credit card. I get an idea and I go for it. I'm a doer, so it really didn't surprise anyone that I decided to have my oophorectomy within the same year as my mastectomy. Let's face it, I was turning 39 in November of this year. How cool would my 40th birthday be, in 2016, knowing all of this was behind me? So, in for the pre-op appointment I went, learning all about my next steps.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
While my oophorectomy would be done laparoscopically, requiring a mere two weeks recovery vs. the six to eight for the mastectomy, I was more nervous about this one...even in recovery. While I would yet again be in great hands with the wonderful <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/11/pre-op-oophorectomy-appointment.html">Dr. Dharshini</a>, there were so many more side effects from this surgery which could affect me for the rest of my life; Heart disease, lung cancer, calcium deficiency, hot flashes, dementia...just to name a few. But I had to have faith that once again, I'd be reducing my chances of ovarian cancer, from a whopping 50% to 1-2%. Those mutated genes would once again, be defeated.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8RGGpCMfHtP1WXa26Klc-5XXq5Me3ArdBV8w55RDLGn7cW39zxt8JXrOSWAQBF2ilUNYT6XAFI8KfGAbOoPxg6H18mS0xwA9wSNkwt0kv-OFQAs_9wPi3hY6I4FcplQg06JyWoiy8gaY/s1600/IMG_2849.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8RGGpCMfHtP1WXa26Klc-5XXq5Me3ArdBV8w55RDLGn7cW39zxt8JXrOSWAQBF2ilUNYT6XAFI8KfGAbOoPxg6H18mS0xwA9wSNkwt0kv-OFQAs_9wPi3hY6I4FcplQg06JyWoiy8gaY/s320/IMG_2849.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And I did it for them.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Three days ago, four days before 2016, I had my <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/12/surgery-day-oophorectomy.html">oophorectomy</a> and everything went textbook, so I'm told. I left the hospital the <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/12/20-hours-post-oophorectomy.html">next day</a>, am able to walk as much as I want, have minimal pain (despite the gas) and am very thankful for the opportunities that exist for women like me. Yes, there are many other things I'm going through as <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/12/day-3-post-oophorectomy.html">side effects</a> to the surgery that cause me tears today, but let me focus, while I can, on the blessing the surgery has given me. I'm alive, I'm here for my husband and children and I will be for a long time. Now, after two surgeries, I've done all that I can to save my life from BRCA1. I have defeated it. I can finally breathe. I can exhale. I can live.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So, here I sit, in my living room on New Year's Eve, looking at my three beautiful children, and I find peace in 2015. I made MANY new friends, I accomplished things I only dreamed of, I found peace with my past and I'm now thankful for my future. I send strength to all of my lovelies out there who are searching for answers, facing their struggles and looking for comfort or peace. A warm hug from me to you for 2016.</div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-9901563209743715682015-12-30T21:46:00.001-05:002015-12-30T21:47:30.687-05:00Day 3 Post Oophorectomy<div style="text-align: justify;">
Not horrible, but not great. This is a long one...settle in.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yes, my dears, there are ups and downs in this journey. The ups are when you think you're having a good day, you feel good, you're experiencing little to no pain, you can get on with your normal daily routine and you're happy you've taken the steps towards a healthier future...getting rid of the mutated genes you inherited. It's what I call my Wonder Woman days, and I'm very thankful for them. This surgery was definitely, hands down, easier than my mastectomy. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The downs are everything else...the moments in between the ups, the moments most of our friends and family don't know about because we keep it inside or we turn to our community of like women going through the same thing because they'll understand. The downs can make you cry in an instant, can leave you foggy minded and can leave you feeling alone and asking "why?". These are the days that make me feel weak and question just how strong I am. I hate these days. I try to avoid these days, pushing them aside, gathering strength from within to get through them and put on my happy face for my husband and kiddos.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
No one can write the perfect recovery book for having a mastectomy with reconstruction or a bilateral salpingo oophorectomy. We're not the same. We don't heal the same, feel the same nor even go into the surgeries with the same bodies. We're all different, and we all need to realize that what we are going through is perfectly fine, for our bodies. Stop comparing yourself to others and their glorious recoveries if you think you're not having one. There's no rhyme or reason to it. It's like labor and birth...some go to plan, some don't. Some women wear their pre-pregnancy clothes home from the hospital, some wear maternity clothes for months after. Some have postpartum depression, some don't. But each journey is unique, and again, there's no perfect book. I read through blogs, picked and chose experiences that are like mine, felt some relief that someone else out there experienced the same as me and felt somewhat normal again.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But Angelina did it. Angelina had the "perfect" mastectomy and reconstruction experience and the "perfect" oophorectomy. She was back to work quickly, looks amazing and photographed beautifully throughout. Is that what we're holding ourselves up to? The idea of perfection? It's actually been said to me, several times, by many people..."Angelina did it, so can you." What does that even mean? I rack my brain to figure out how that comparison or those words even begin to help someone like me in my position. It's fine to say, "hey, you're having the same surgery as Angelina," because people then get it due to all the media coverage. But to say I can do it because she did? That's where we begin holding ourselves up to other's standards. I'll guarantee she cried at some points. I'll guarantee she felt weak in a moment or two. I'll guarantee she probably even wished she never had to go through any of this at all.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The first two days of my recovery thus far were pretty good, they were up days. Despite some pain and discomfort from the actual surgery, I was in otherwise good spirits. I was feeling like everything was going to "plan" as I perused other blogs and stories of recoveries. I wasn't taking the full dosage of medications prescribed, which had to be a good thing, I was eating, drinking and walking just fine and I just felt good. Tired, but good. I even felt well enough to go outside and do something, but I don't walk very quickly at this point, so I wouldn't get too far. Then, somewhere during the evening last night, things started changing and I started questioning how well I really was doing, acknowledging the hugeness of the situation. There's things people don't tell you or you won't find on blogs, unless you know exactly what to ask or which key words to type. I had an idea of what recovery would be like, but these little surprises are happening, ones I wished I'd known about prior so that I would be as mentally prepared as possible.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Night Sweats:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Last night, for the first time, I woke up several times, sweating. I was so hot, uncomfortably hot, and I couldn't seem to get regulated. The sheets came off, the fan was pointed right at me and my hair went up into a ponytail. My insides were hot...if that makes any sense. It wasn't the air around me, it was me, but different than having a fever. I wanted nothing touching me or on me. I didn't know this happened. I understand that hot flashes are part of the deal now, but when you've never had one, and you don't know what to expect when you do, its kinda scary and uncomfortable.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Gas:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've touched on this a few times, but not once was I told about this prior to surgery. It is horribly painful. I'm on day 3 now, and its beginning to subside, but the gas hurts more than anything. There's a bunch of gas pumped into you and it has nowhere to escape anytime soon. It slowly gets passed or absorbed into your tissue, but the process is long and slow. Since its trapped, its pushing, causing pressure on your ribs and your shoulders. The shoulders hurt the absolute worst. You feel like you want an intense massage but that doesn't do anything as its the gas inside, not your actual muscles. I have been using Gas-X (must do) and a combination of heating pads and heat strips to at least try and ease the pain. Its getting better, but have some meds on hand for this.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Spotting/Bleeding:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Ok, I just had my ovaries removed and completed my last period, so why in the heck am I spotting? Yep, another thing I wasn't told about and didn't know would happen. In the hospital, I was spot free. Days 1 and 2 after...spot free. So why, on day 3, am I spotting? Where in the heck is it coming from? This is a little scary if you aren't prepared for it or even know it can happen after the surgery. But yes, you might spot and its ok. If its more than that, consult your physician to find out what's going on. Better yet, ask your physician about the possibilities before your surgery so that you're prepared.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Crying:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So, this morning, all I had to do was wake up from sleep and the tears started flowing. No one had said anything, I hadn't read anything, heck, I wasn't even having bad dreams! It was simply the act of waking up that sent me into tears. I felt a bit foggy in the head and just let it all out. I think this caught my husband off guard, but man he's good when it comes to jumping right in and just being there. He knew there were no answers he could give me, it was just me and my body trying to make sense of that hour of waking. Ladies, you have just lost a part of you, a major part of you. For some, this will be an emotional journey, one no one else can understand until they go through it. For younger women like us, we've had to do this out of necessity, and in that, we've given up our ability to reproduce, whether we wanted to or not.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Let me tell you, it hit me very hard having my surgery and recovery in the same wing of the hospital as the maternity ward. Newborns were crying all around me, babies being wheeled in and out of rooms and pregnant bellies being cradled by anxious mommies. It hit me. It was surreal. This was it for me. I was ending my chances as they were beginning theirs, not that I had any plans of getting pregnant again. Anyway, who knows why the tears flowed this morning. Was it hormones already making changes? Was it the bad night sleep with night sweats freaking me out? Was it the fear of what I would experience next in the form of side effects? The crying only lasted a mere ten minutes, but it was definitely something trying to get out. Acknowledge your feelings. Let them happen. You've been through a lot.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Headaches:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I had a pretty bad headache throughout yesterday. Not sure if it was due to the medicines, the surgery, my anxiety or just being tired, but it ached a lot. I finally asked my physician if I could take something for it since I was already taking the pain killers. She suggested some caffeine. Here I was, trying to be a very good girl, caffeine free, and its exactly what I needed. A little caffeine and my headache was gone. Again, ask your physician if its ok, but I've heard headaches are common during this stage after surgery.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Anxiety:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
With my mastectomy, I was prescribed Xanax as a precautionary since dealing with major events like these can cause a lot of anxiety and/or depression. I was glad I had it. I experienced moments of fear...fear of pain, fear of recovery, fear of everything...I didn't want to move. The Xanax allowed me to relax, let my body relax, and just heal. I noticed yesterday, during a nap I tried taking, that my mind was racing. I could't settle down, I couldn't just breath my way into dreamland. I then started psyching myself out, thinking of all the things I had just been through and all the things that could still happen via side-effects of the surgery. It was time to pull the Xanax out. I have learned, in talking to some friends in the same position, that Xanax or Zoloft has actually been prescribed to them as part of dealing with menopause symptoms beyond anxiety, such as the hot flashes. Don't be afraid to ask for a little help to get through this.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Walking:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm good to go. I can stand up for long periods of time, I can walk, albeit slowly, around the house just fine and I can sit on the couch and watch a show with the family. Again, the pain in centered in the belly button, but only when strained or touched. Otherwise, I really wouldn't know I had had surgery. Keep your energy up and allow yourself these walks and being upright. They will help your recovery and overall spirits. Vitamin B is a good one to take in the morning to keep your energy up if needed. </div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxdlz-MBVGJ2IMwyzywcn2k2_LaRG9q78hOY7fuEp-wuiqyUYzTxHQpCuKmqiW41Q8htkS2ZcESJdm-iPE1YKpjyn0Fcmu1m54hungZ_JNXwOyihBfKctrIbxpOVAbFSIShq3jZf9G1so/s1600/FullSizeRender+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxdlz-MBVGJ2IMwyzywcn2k2_LaRG9q78hOY7fuEp-wuiqyUYzTxHQpCuKmqiW41Q8htkS2ZcESJdm-iPE1YKpjyn0Fcmu1m54hungZ_JNXwOyihBfKctrIbxpOVAbFSIShq3jZf9G1so/s320/FullSizeRender+5.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thank you, Facebook, for my word of 2016. I believe this one.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Sometimes I fear I ask too many questions of my physician, but then I remember, its my first time, not hers. She's the expert, the one with the answers. This morning, she sent the most wonderful message to me that helped put me on the right foot for today. And yes, it made me cry, because yes, I'm now learning to exhale.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Try to get yourself out of the house and to a park or somewhere open aired with fresh sunlight. You are so not the cooped up in darkness kinda girl, so being up and about will do you wonders. Big stuff has happened and passed, the new year will bring so much awesomeness you won't know what to do with it. You are great, family's great, everybody is healthy and its time to exhale...finally."</div>
</blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-58327697958077342452015-12-30T01:38:00.002-05:002015-12-30T01:38:31.306-05:002 Days Post Oophorectomy<div style="text-align: justify;">
Today is a good day!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I didn't stay on top of my meds during the night, but that didn't really impact me this morning. I was able to get out of bed with help from my husband and all was good from there. My stomach is very tender to the touch, but just sitting is completely fine.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I got my Histology report back...all clear! My left ovary caused some issues when being removed, but it turns out it was due to having a mild endometriotic cyst...totally benign. Apparently I have cysts that aren't detected by scans, as the same thing happened with my mastectomy...several benign cysts were found during surgery as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As of 2 days post-op, here's where I am:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Pain Meds:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm taking two of the four meds at this point. I don't feel that I need the stronger ones, which is a good sign. My stomach is very tender, as are the immediate sites. My belly button is the most tender, as expected, and has some hardening occurring around the top edge. My bandages are the same ones put on after surgery, and show no signs of bleeding, which is a good sign.</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkxwjytN6S-MELIeGYCNBAHTqfy7_WarUZWizCLm-t3aOXMB_NMvCswqc6MXglVYt1cXFmO3N2CKRjwIyQBiJEWX-qkYz1SvLAM8UGNyVOCjBwRnbMBjXu06PbCC7qjEiiCCM_lc0KTS8/s1600/FullSizeRender+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkxwjytN6S-MELIeGYCNBAHTqfy7_WarUZWizCLm-t3aOXMB_NMvCswqc6MXglVYt1cXFmO3N2CKRjwIyQBiJEWX-qkYz1SvLAM8UGNyVOCjBwRnbMBjXu06PbCC7qjEiiCCM_lc0KTS8/s320/FullSizeRender+4.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Three laparoscopic sites from the surgery.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Gas and Swelling:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The gas is still causing me shoulder and neck pain, for which I use a heating pad to relieve the pain. It's 24/7, unfortunately, and the only things that will help are time, walking and Gas-X. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Lying Down vs. Walking:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It really is true...don't lie your way through recovery! Get up, stand up and walk. It feels so much better to be upright than lying down...even if you're propped upright in bed. The gas works its way out and the stomach feels better. I even took a shower today without help.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b>Energy:</b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My energy goes up and down over the past two days. I want to sleep, yet I want to keep my body actively healing, prevent blood clots by moving and just feel less "sick". I can tell when I'm about to overdo it, so luckily I'm listening to myself. I think wanting to do things and get back to normal is a good sign...now I just need to make sure to listen to my body.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm incredibly thankful, once again, to my online community. It's amazing how many people stay in touch and follow my journey, remembering that surgery day was the 28th. Thank you! </div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-27869374081798567382015-12-29T07:51:00.002-05:002015-12-29T21:14:40.363-05:0020 Hours Post OophorectomyWaking up this morning I felt ok. I had a nurse scour the hospital to find me some ear plugs in order to get some much needed rest during the night, and it worked. Ear plugs coupled with my sleeping mask, and I was good to go. Despite the frequent blood pressure checks, the crying babies surrounding me (women's hospital...ironic really) and the noises from the hallway, I rested well and my abdomen felt good this morning. I was particularly impressed that I was able to get up and use the toilet on my own as soon as I woke up. The one thing that didn't feel so great was my neck and shoulder area. It actually hurt pretty badly, as if I had done an intensive workout after having never previously working out. Here's where I am, 20 hrs post surgery:<br>
<br>
<b>Pain Meds:</b><br>
I'm on a medicine cocktail of Piriton, Arcoxia, Panadeine and Tramadol. As of right now, majority of the pain comes from the gas, but when I sit up, lie down, walk...otherwise engage my stomach muscles, I feel the pain of the surgical sites. I don't imagine I'll be on these pain killers for long, probably downgrading to just Tylenol soon.<br>
<br>
<b>Gas and Swelling:</b><br>
This is the most painful part of the whole experience thus far. I woke up to pain in my neck, shoulders and upper abdomen unlike any pain I've had in these areas before. More than just discomfort from eating too much or feeling bloated. This is the result of gas being pumped into my abdomen in order for the doctor to see my organs more clearly. The gas rises and is looking for ways out, besides getting reabsorbed by the body tissue. Limiting gassy foods is a must until I get this under control. My husband has just gone out to find me some sort of stool softener and gas relief. Lets hope these work.<br>
<br>
With the gas comes swelling. I'm very comfortable wearing my well-loved pj bottoms that have that extra "give" in the elastic. But my stomach feels like a little bowling ball and is quite tender to the touch. Leaving it alone, I feel nothing until I engage the muscles. It's when I touch it that I realize how tender the areas are. <br>
<br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8vxTsSHDPn-nRjmaFvx-SEpUhuIq8SWYV6wd74nXEo53DyQRPSQEY77uFfjSrWKJ7iaoe_33fZTOGP7veE3SgN27iLzNvNYhu8F8OSIWL-LAwVLiIlK-7qwxyeP43PcPaezKfvhOEK1o/s1600/IMG_2909.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8vxTsSHDPn-nRjmaFvx-SEpUhuIq8SWYV6wd74nXEo53DyQRPSQEY77uFfjSrWKJ7iaoe_33fZTOGP7veE3SgN27iLzNvNYhu8F8OSIWL-LAwVLiIlK-7qwxyeP43PcPaezKfvhOEK1o/s320/IMG_2909.JPG" width="240"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The lovely flower bouquet my daughter made.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br>
<br>
<b>Lying Down vs. Walking:</b><br>
Surprisingly, I thought all was good lying in bed and taking it easy, but standing upright and walking feels much better. It's slow, no power walking here, but it allows everything to sit where its supposed to as well as helps work the gas out.<br>
<br>
<b>HRT:</b><br>
While totally controversial on whether to take it or not, and why, I'm not on any at this point. My doctor has decided that we will see how I go for now, and treat areas that need treating as they come. So far, I'm not have menopausal symptoms that I notice. I'm in Singapore, I'm always hot and sweaty...so I'm not sure yet if I'm having hot flashes or not (but the air conditioning is on!). As for mood swings, I haven't had that yet either, although my husband may disagree, but seriously, I think I've been ok for now. We'll see what the next 24 hrs brings as my body settles in.<br>
<br>
<b>Meds From Here On:</b><br>
I'll be on 5000 mg of Vitamin D, baby aspirin and Methyl-Guard Plus for now. Again, we'll wait and see how things go.<br>
<br>
*update...pretty sure I just experienced my first hot flash tonight. All AC units are on in the house, kids are cold and all of the sudden I got really hot.<br>
<br>MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-89075844124027581832015-12-28T03:34:00.001-05:002015-12-29T21:23:51.098-05:00Surgery Day- Oophorectomy<br>
<div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The day finally came, the day I would complete my BRCA surgical road. Unlike the preparations for my mastectomy and reconstruction, this surgery slowly creeped up on me out of nowhere in a sense. With so many overseas plans to be made for my mastectomy, I was constantly in the state of preparation. Phone calls, booking flights, medical tests, booking lodging and wrapping up the school year early. I blogged almost daily to help me get through it all and I talked about it a lot. I even wrote a children's book during the process. It was easy to talk about, it was familiar, it was long awaited. But with all of that preparation came fears, tears and a lot of emotional support needed. I was overly prepared, if that's possible. But for this surgery, it was quite different.</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCqUeDNvML4DWtl0MMATXA4De1W88RzlP19N7pURH5iGqq_jYVQvnWdim6uj1-aKoEHcMO8BP07Oa3MvrHyvMm_OMApFzM3SiwGTSvYB_2xuzkBIXPC9n-5qEQQ4E9DFPxIDjBlwAnrsk/s640/blogger-image--1339109328.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCqUeDNvML4DWtl0MMATXA4De1W88RzlP19N7pURH5iGqq_jYVQvnWdim6uj1-aKoEHcMO8BP07Oa3MvrHyvMm_OMApFzM3SiwGTSvYB_2xuzkBIXPC9n-5qEQQ4E9DFPxIDjBlwAnrsk/s320/blogger-image--1339109328.jpg" width="240"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
Planning for the oophorectomy to happen in Singapore required much less interference with daily life, which allowed me (good or bad) to simply live in the moment of each day versus stressing out about it. In a sense, I was avoiding it. A good friend would check in on my daily at work, asking how I was doing as the date approached. She knew and could see I was having quiet "bad" days as I kept it all inside. I don't think my husband and I even talked about it much, heck, he still hasn't met my doctor performing the surgery! I can't explain why it's so different this time...it just is. My appointment was booked a couple months ago, and up until today, I didn't need to do anything more but wait.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
I kept myself very busy between Thanksgiving and Christmas and work was demanding with end of term report cards to fill out, holiday parties to partake in and holiday travel to Hong Kong. There were several times I would momentarily get overwhelmed when I thought about the surgery, but I couldn't put into words what scared me so much nor did I communicate it with anyone but my doctor. I think she understands I'm a control freak and needed as many answers as I could get. Was it the physical pain? The hormonal and emotional changes I'd go through? Was it that I'd now need vitamin D daily, along with exercise, just to keep this new me from becoming brittle? I think it was all of that, plus more. It was just the unknown. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjS0uKmFvGIH87fS_b5HysDgfI2cHcENGTtKgEu9wTHZ8-EpUtwCBQpB_S5qb7xXIWILQpsMvstv-w7IVc3THULPeOboRpbbLPyHTcYUowo0R1xY6jT7y_IMbVuLrZsYQGNrJ_DzGl8gk/s640/blogger-image-1631481289.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjS0uKmFvGIH87fS_b5HysDgfI2cHcENGTtKgEu9wTHZ8-EpUtwCBQpB_S5qb7xXIWILQpsMvstv-w7IVc3THULPeOboRpbbLPyHTcYUowo0R1xY6jT7y_IMbVuLrZsYQGNrJ_DzGl8gk/s320/blogger-image-1631481289.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
<br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
But here it has come, surgery day, and I can't turn back. We arrived at the hospital around 5:30am, I was admitted and immediately taken to my room where I changed and waited for them to take me to the OR. Several times I told my husband that it all seemed surreal, that it wasn't really happening. I was a bit emotionless until the "cold" nurses came in and barked orders at me to get changed for surgery. There's a disconnect between staff and patients over here, and I've noticed it in several areas. This was hard for me, as I needed the compassion for what I was about to go through. I missed the US terribly, and I remember voicing that to my husband. It was all so clinical here. My doctor was my saving grace. Her humor upon seeing me was just what I needed.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
This was also the first time I'd be wheeled into an OR fully awake, and I can say I didn't like it. None of it helped ease my anxiety, unlike my experience with my mastectomy. The nurses running around, the anesthesiologist talking about everything that was going to happen...I just wanted to be knocked out. I laid there, my body shaking every so often from tension and fear, and just waited to be sent into lala land. Finally, the oxygen mask came and the last thing I remember was being told a serum was being injected into my arm that would burn. I felt the burn and I was out.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzxYI2qIbK0G95sm7Su353rhpGnfOJ2UHTSTDhSE_Tft9SMVdDB8cbNs_mONjplCws3Y1S0L5RIL0BKN1BrwC46XoQn8QDVQfKdO6SkrJkIlHM9ccA0LP-HghaEPboNdI1REBOQjpguNs/s640/blogger-image-1730664775.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzxYI2qIbK0G95sm7Su353rhpGnfOJ2UHTSTDhSE_Tft9SMVdDB8cbNs_mONjplCws3Y1S0L5RIL0BKN1BrwC46XoQn8QDVQfKdO6SkrJkIlHM9ccA0LP-HghaEPboNdI1REBOQjpguNs/s320/blogger-image-1730664775.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
I don't remember being in recovery this time as I do with my mastectomy. I only remember getting to my room and having to switch from the OR bed to my hospital bed. I cried. It hurt and I felt weak. My belly button is what is the most painful right now. Every move or tightening of the abdomen I have to do to sit up, stand up, sit down or lie down hurts. But overall, not nearly as bad as my mastectomy. I could move, that's a major difference.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
I started writing this about an hour after I was in my room, and I'm now finishing the next morning simply because I fell asleep from the meds. I was able to get up on my own for the toilet and can feel a little more pain today, which is probably due to the hospital bed and being confined in movement. I'll find out today whether or not I can go home.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhThLQUhlBQczuu707lPfCPqU8G1jSU6oCE6M7fSc_1E2WYAYlqtHMeEf4qnSd81kwtCfXwx6n_Bfj4rohpcRSNt2hpAhxnkHFSnqL3h9cDGle_TFcWm0i_cRtfGhxyfPRtoFxLrNyFGcs/s640/blogger-image--1205602340.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhThLQUhlBQczuu707lPfCPqU8G1jSU6oCE6M7fSc_1E2WYAYlqtHMeEf4qnSd81kwtCfXwx6n_Bfj4rohpcRSNt2hpAhxnkHFSnqL3h9cDGle_TFcWm0i_cRtfGhxyfPRtoFxLrNyFGcs/s320/blogger-image--1205602340.jpg" width="240"></a></div>
<br>
<br></div>
</div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-82776188869203689382015-11-11T02:33:00.001-05:002015-11-11T02:33:47.810-05:00Pre-Op Oophorectomy AppointmentToday I got to meet with my amazing gynecologist, Dr. Dharshini, as well as my overall medical doctor, Dr. Tucker, who has been the keeper of all my diagnostic information, magical appointment maker with all the best specialists in town and now my nutrition advocate. These were the two appointments I had been waiting for with anticipation, as I'd find out the results of some important pre-surgery tests I had done last week, as well as learn all about my surgery and recovery in detail.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilVzhsgMpISITx0oR0kvhMwDZIqqGjZIDZwhjRxi5VxcCecI4phfIdTJkoLSGBMztdakwuR2VzxWDbnH_ni-bHxkUJrXyz6dQqgBCTnbt5SHeDHZkHyjK64ke_PuvFkxfyIfoUmZzMmzM/s1600/IMG_2001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilVzhsgMpISITx0oR0kvhMwDZIqqGjZIDZwhjRxi5VxcCecI4phfIdTJkoLSGBMztdakwuR2VzxWDbnH_ni-bHxkUJrXyz6dQqgBCTnbt5SHeDHZkHyjK64ke_PuvFkxfyIfoUmZzMmzM/s320/IMG_2001.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<h3>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Dr. Dharshini...Beacon of Light, Master of Comedic Relief and Extremely Patient!</span></h3>
<br />
My first appointment today was with my gynecologist, <a href="http://novenaspecialistcenter.com/specialists/dr-dharshini-gopalakrishnakone/" target="_blank">Dr. Dharshini Gopalakrishnakone</a>, who will be performing my bilateral salpingo oophorectomy (say that five times fast!). Just Google her and you'll find out just how passionate an advocate she is when it comes to <a href="http://www.medicalgrapevineasia.com/mg/2015/05/26/diabetes-pregnancy/" target="_blank">women's healthcare</a> as well as <a href="https://sg.entertainment.yahoo.com/blogs/singapore-showbiz/lego-seeks-more-friends-073113706.html" target="_blank">being a mom</a>. I just love my appointments with Dr. Dharshini as she puts me at ease every time, just by being REAL. She's human, not robotic, and she has a way of making everything palatable and relatable. I don't leave feeling like I had a bunch of medical jargon shoved down my throat with zero understanding. And I'll be honest, we laugh...A LOT. Don't get me wrong, I take this whole process very seriously, but if I don't laugh, I'll break down into a pool of tears, and that's not going to get me anywhere when I need to pay attention the most. So, I save the tears for the glass of wine later.<br />
<br />
<h4>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">The Surgery</span></h4>
<div>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span></div>
We first talked about the surgery and the proposed plan at this point. I'll first relay what the ideal surgical scenario is, and then I'll relay what happens in that 1-5% chance something else is wrong. <br />
<br />
After being sedated and pumped full of air (to open the abdomen for easier viewing and maneuvering), an incision will be made in the navel which will be the site for removing the fallopian tubes and ovaries. And additional three small incisions will be made, one below the navel and one on each side of the abdomen. These will all allow for the microscopic surgery to take place. During this 1.5 hr surgery, basically the fallopian tubes are cut away from the uterus and the ovaries are separated from their blood flow. This sounds easy, but its quite delicate being that all of this lies dangerously close to the bladder, bowel and appendix. While the surgery is taking place, a cross-section will be frozen and sent to the lab for immediate results (looking for abnormal cells). At the same time as the removal of the fallopian tubes and ovaries, a peritoneal washing will be given as well. Think of it as a large protective sheet spanning your abdomen, holding back and protecting your uterus and ovaries. This sheet has potential for carrying cancer cells as well, and thus will be "sprayed off", much like the windshield of your car.<br />
<br />
Assuming all goes well and textbook, I'll be stitched up, sent to recovery and left to rest with a night or two in the hospital. While it's major surgery, I won't have the same limitations as I did after my mastectomy. I will be limited to 5kg lifting for the first month and no intercourse for six weeks, but other than that, I just need to listen to my body and take my recovery at the pace I feel comfortable. So, here's hoping for just 1-2 nights in the hospital and a quick recovery at home lasting up to two weeks.<br />
<br />
IF something doesn't go right, then things get more complicated. Remember the frozen section sent off to the lab during the surgery? That will be analyzed, and in 1% of cases, it comes back showing cancerous cells. If that happens, I will immediately be opened up vertically down the center of my abdomen, and the uterus, appendix (because of close proximity to the ovaries) and the Omentum (fatty apron) will all be removed, and my recovery goes from 1-2 weeks to 6+ weeks. Remember, we're praying this does NOT happen.<br />
<br />
There are a few other complications which could arrive during surgery and would mean opening me up like a cesarean:<br />
<br />
1) If the ovaries are somehow fused to parts of my body and the doctor can't access them well<br />
2) Excessive bleeding during the surgery<br />
3) Perforation of the bladder or bowel<br />
<br />
And lastly, a few other complications would be infection or trouble with the gas pumped into the cavity.<br />
<br />
<h4>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">The Testing, Before and After</span></h4>
<br />
What exactly happens now that I'm in surgery induced menopause? Well, it all seems pretty simple, for the most part. In order to prepare for the surgery, I had to have a few tests done to see how my body is performing at this stage, pre-menopause and pre-surgery. A baseline if you will. Last week I had three tests done, a blood draw, a bone density scan and a pelvic ultrasound. Today I received the results of all three which lead to a few extra discussions I didn't think I'd be having. These results were discussed with both Dr. Dharshini and Dr. Tucker.<br />
<br />
<b>The blood test</b>- There were a few scores that came back higher and lower than we'd like when it comes to overall health. The one immediately affecting this surgery would be my CA 125 marker (ovarian cancer indicator). This one came back slightly elevated at 36.5 (normal would be < 35). We are attributing this to the fact that I was mid-cycle during testing, which has been seen to elevate the numbers. We don't want this number growing as that would indicate a much bigger problem with my ovaries (which we're thankfully removing anyway). Other things I learned: I metabolize foods quickly and have a low glucose level, I need to work on my LDL number (reducing carbs and increasing healthy fats and proteins) and I have low iron (probably due to heavy cycles which will all be history after the surgery and therefore increase my iron). I'm being sent to a nutritionist this month just to get my eating all sorted out and get my body functioning more optimally.<br />
<br />
<b>The Bone Density test</b>- Sadly, my bone density test did not come back like I had hoped. While my spine is fantastic, my left hip showed that I'm in the osteopaenic range. This means I'll be starting weight bearing exercises ASAP as well as taking heavy doses of Vitamin D and calcium. The bone density screen will now occur yearly for me due to the results. If osteoporosis develops, I'll then be put on Fosamax for a maximum of five years.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2px;">Osteopenia</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2px;"> is a condition in which bone mineral density is lower than normal. It is considered by many doctors to be a precursor to osteoporosis. However, not every person diagnosed with </span><b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2px;">osteopenia</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2px;">will develop osteoporosis.- Wiki</span></span></blockquote>
<b>Pelvic Ultrasound</b>- Nothing abnormal, all good.<br />
<br />
<h4>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">The Other Stuff</span></h4>
<br />
I'll begin taking Aspirin after the surgery, for the rest of my life. This is apparently recommended no matter who you are at about the age of 40 and it reduces risks for heart problems, blood complications, cancers, etc. We're sticking to non-hormone therapy for now to see how I do after surgery. If I really need it, we'll do low doses of hormone replacement therapy with a bioidentical hormone cream. And as for the good 'ole sex drive...IF it decreases due to the surgery and hormone changes, I can use a testosterone. <br />
<br />
And there you have it. Surgery is scheduled for the 28th of December, so keep me in your thoughts and prayers. This has been an exhausting and emotional day for me and I want nothing more than to sleep the rest of it away, but I'm off to be mom now. MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-91010493958409076342015-10-11T06:07:00.000-04:002015-11-02T05:09:04.636-05:00Four Months Post-Op & OctoberFour months today, I'm doing great. I still have pain, I still have this awkward relationship with my breasts because of how they feel, not because of how they look, and I still thank God and my doctor that I had this amazing gift of life given to me. But on this anniversary, I focus not on my healing process, but on a greater cause...awareness and action.<br />
<br />
In an ideal world, I'd like to think that everyone, all over the world, would have access to understanding their genetics and risks without heavy co-pays. I'd wish that every woman had access to mammograms when needed, treatment if necessary and education at her fingertips. My hope would be that every human would already know so much about breast cancer awareness, so that all of the money spent on producing pink items could just go directly to helping women and men get the help they need. My dream would be that all this money we raise year after year would have found a cure by now, and more importantly, that a majority of the money made it into research/grants/and reduced or free access to care. In an ideal world. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBSuFOuA8XcWsLraBDSdJvw6OGPuEMi-CeOylmmRRbiC7Z2kTKd6nbXhwuoHVgyAqEKo4oAwCxBC5c-QTFFnWLjHsFXqRBuebakYHaSgzClKZSCXtMfvLcTZLsSsj8KQ36ZunWnHSqniw/s1600/Pinktober_pink_october_breast_cancer_awareness.svg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBSuFOuA8XcWsLraBDSdJvw6OGPuEMi-CeOylmmRRbiC7Z2kTKd6nbXhwuoHVgyAqEKo4oAwCxBC5c-QTFFnWLjHsFXqRBuebakYHaSgzClKZSCXtMfvLcTZLsSsj8KQ36ZunWnHSqniw/s320/Pinktober_pink_october_breast_cancer_awareness.svg.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">© Nevit Dilmen [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) via Wikimedia Commons</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Every year till now, October approached and I would go into it with a pit in my stomach. Inevitably, every October, I'd have those who were reminded that I lost my mother at a young age to breast cancer and felt badly, I had those who didn't understand what it was like to be BRCA1+ for 10 years and not do anything about it and I had those who would just send the "I'm thinking of you" message during the month to let me know they cared. All perfectly fine in their own ways, but I would get upset inside because I was so conflicted about this month in question. I had a love/hate relationship with October. I hated the Facebook secret messages that were hoping to spread awareness because I didn't think it should be secretive, I stayed away from purchasing anything breast cancer pink because it reminded me of pain not happiness, I hated seeing the statistics that so little of funds raised actually made it to where it should go and I wished the month would be over so that I could go on living and sharing my story in my own way, with just as much passion, throughout the whole year, not just in "Pinktober".<br />
<br />
I sit here today, four months after my preventive surgery, taking a new turn on life and my own understanding of October. I've decided it is what you make of it. Some people love the pink aspect of October, seeking comfort in all of the support and sharing in a larger community beyond themselves. I'll admit, I love the smiles I see on people's faces in the photos from events, I love my friends who are genuinely fighting for something they are passionate about and I love that the general public pays a little extra attention to an important cause for a month. I love that voices are heard...or are they? There are those who still hate October, like I once did, for the commercialism of it all, wondering why we can't just be proactive all year long without the bells and whistles and extra effort during one month of the year. I have decided that I sit on the wall between both sides now, not really in one court or the other, and here's why. <br />
<br />
<h3>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">October Can Be Great...</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span></div>
I lost my mother to breast cancer, and I didn't handle it well. After her passing, I felt like I had failed as a daughter, as a supporter. That is when I threw myself into the yearly Susan G. Komen walks and the American Cancer Society's Relays for Life as a way to try and heal. My friends would join me and I felt like I was doing as much as I could, coming to terms my own way. I was the one asking for donations each year, putting the sign on my back as a symbol for who I was walking for and feeling like I was making up for time I'd spent in the wrong way. I'd wear the pink ribbon given to me because I was proud to represent my mother and grandmother in any way that I could. I'd cry at some point in each event, missing them terribly, and feel comforted that others around me were feeling the same. But there were always things missing. <br />
<br />
While I thought I was doing good for others and trying to love the community spirit that these events brought, I was at the same time ignoring myself. Never once during those years did I stop and ask about my own health and risks. Yes, I knew there was something going on in my family that made my future look questionable, but during the ages of 13-25, I never pursued any of the many services offered to someone like me, because I didn't know I had a gene I had to worry about. Here I was, supporting breast cancer "awareness", but it wasn't hitting home because there wasn't specific information to me, to my situation. Where was my action? A month dedicated to helping people gain access, information and support, and I was solely looking at it as a way to deal with my mother's passing. I then began to think...if there's so much awareness, year after year, then why was my mother passed up for an elective mastectomy and reconstruction when she asked? Where's the actual education? October needs to change...we can't isolate Breast Cancer into October.<br />
<br />
<h3>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">But So Can the Rest of the Year!</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span></div>
On the flip side, four months ago I had my surgery and I blogged my way through it all. I never realized how powerful my voice could be. Here I thought Angelina had taken care of all the hard work, bringing awareness of BRCA to the masses, but I quickly realized...MANY never even heard her story. Was MY little voice helping to bring awareness to someone via my blog, my <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/1511580267/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_BQ.Jvb1KMYBA0" target="_blank">book</a> and now, in the month of October, my article for <a href="http://www.parenting.com/parenting-advice/mom/losing-my-mother-to-breast-cancer-and-how-i-turned-my-experience-childrens-book">Parenting.com</a>? Yes, it was. I meet people weekly who have never heard of BRCA and I'm shocked. I realize that not everyone attends an October event, nor follows Hollywood news, especially in different parts of the world. A woman, just this last week, made a comment about all the pink around and I told her it was for breast cancer awareness month...she had no clue. For the past year leading up to my surgery, I was the one educating people around me without the pink accessories and fundraisers. I enjoy telling my story, helping other women understand their genetics, their options and especially how to deal with it all as a mother. During eleven other months, people still need to be educated. There will always be someone who just doesn't know, and I'm so happy when they cross my path.<br />
<br />
So, here I am, coming to terms with my own understanding of the month of October. I appreciate those who love it, share in it and find hope through the communities and organizations spreading the word. I also appreciate those who don't like it for whatever their reasons are. I now realize that my October doesn't have to be filled with sadness, anger and resentment. My October is now a time to reflect on my journey and how I decided to change my life's path. My October is now a time to be there for anyone who needs an ear or a shoulder or some guiding information. My October will be for advocating about testing, breast reconstruction options and pushing people to listen. But the rest of the year will also be the same, filled with the same passion as my now October.MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-64121424308075676222015-09-11T02:13:00.000-04:002015-09-11T04:29:59.720-04:00Three Months Post-Op<div style="text-align: justify;">
You're a pain in the...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Boob!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
No, I'm not talking about my husband, I'm talking about the actual recovery I'm still going through. Today marks three months since my surgery. Here's what's happening at this point, but if you need to refresh what was happening at two months, <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/search/label/recovery" target="_blank">read here</a>.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Follow Up and Physical Therapy...or Not</span></h3>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yep, the twinges of pain, sore muscles and tightness are still with me...although MUCH less. This is due to the fact that I can only do so much on my own with the exercises given to me, but I really need physical therapy to work on the scar tissue and muscles. Having had the surgery overseas and leaving behind my amazing surgical doctor and nurse, I'm left to pickup the pieces back here in Singapore and its not going as well as I had hoped. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I came back to Singapore and had an immediate follow up appointment with a doctor here. A doctor who was amazed that I was up and about and feeling/looking so great a month out. A doctor who knew nothing about Alloderm, and was so intrigued, that he did an ultrasound just to see inside. A doctor...who I cannot seem to get an appointment with any time soon. All I need is a referral.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've been feeling pretty great since my return to Singapore two months ago. I've been working, I've been completely off any medications (even Advil) for a month and I'm even able to shave my legs with less pain from repetitive motion of the lateral muscles on the sides of the breasts. However, I do experience tightness that radiates from the lateral muscles on the side of my left breast into my armpit, which not only causes some twinges of pain, it limits my range of motion. I need this looked at by a physical therapist. Sounds simple, right? I'm at my wit's end trying to get a referral from above mentioned doctor to see a physical therapist. Surely there has to be an easier way. As of now, there's a 2-3 week wait to get into the doctor. Let's hope this happens sooner by some act of goodness, and I can start therapy sooner.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Nipples</span></h3>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Wow, I don't even know what to say here. They still hurt. They are quite tender, which I didn't expect this far out from surgery (or is three months not considered "far out" for a surgery like this?). I'm beginning to wonder if maybe the soreness I feel is from tight muscles and scar tissue pulling at that area? </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Aesthetics</span></h3>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My scars are still rocking on their recovery. I'm using my <a href="https://www.inviciblescars.com/" target="_blank">InviCible</a> every day and watching them fade more and more. As for my breasts, they are WAY softer. I didn't think they could get softer than a month ago, but here we are, another month gone by, and they are even better. My right breast still looks fantastic, while the left breast is having a little bit of a "tugging" issue due to scar tissue. Again, physical therapy needed now. Because of the scar tissue, there's an area under my nipple which is almost pulling inward. It's slight, not even my husband notices unless I point it out, but I see it. I say this just so women are aware of things that CAN happen after surgery. To me...I'm just happy I lessened my chances of getting breast cancer. I can deal with this slight imperfection.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The strangest thing, and maybe too much information for some, is the way the breast moves when the muscles are tightened. Imagine pulling/lifting or doing anything that would contract the chest muscles. Then picture the breast trying to move, like a natural breast, but it doesn't. The implant stays where it is and the muscle tries to go in the direction forced, so you're left with this indenting, rippling and what not. Thankfully I'm usually always wearing a bra or shirt so that no one can witness this strange occurrence, but again, I'm here to be truthful.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Emotions</span></h3>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I think I'm beyond the emotional roller coaster that is related to the overall surgery preparation and immediate recovery. I'm back to all my daily routines and I don't break down in tears at random. However, if I'm being real and totally transparent here, this is something I posted on August 28th:</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; text-align: left;">Some days I wish my boobs were removable and I could just take a break from them. A break from the soreness, the twinges and itches I can't quite get to and the overall weirdness of them.</span></blockquote>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's true, I can't help but feel what I feel. They are foreign. They are strange. And they take getting used to. I do wish, some days, that I didn't have the surgery. But I'm quickly reminded of my WHY. I saved my life and really, if faced with it again, I'd do it. This is just a new me I have to get used to, but I don't doubt that the strangeness of it will every go away. They'll always be a daily reminder of what I did and why. And maybe that's ok. If I never did it, I'd never have this story to tell, I'd never have written a book, and I'd never have met so many wonderful people to add to my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AHeart-beat.gif" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="By Nevit Dilmen (talk · contribs) (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons"><img alt="Heart-beat" height="134" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/50/Heart-beat.gif" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">By Nevit Dilmen (talk · contribs) (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) <br />
via Wikimedia Commons</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-22760392485760909862015-08-08T00:41:00.000-04:002015-08-08T20:43:35.777-04:00Two Months Post Op and Back to Work<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've just made it to being two months post op. Another milestone in my journey, which is still unfolding. Looking back, it seems like so long ago that I was planning for it and waiting for insurance approval. While doing great, I still have some daily reminders that I'm well in the middle of the healing process.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I hear stories of women jogging at six weeks out after having the same type of surgery, and I'm amazed. More power to you! I'm not there. LOL! I did, however, go back to work full time. That is what sent me into examining how I really feel at two months out. I'm lifting, pushing, walking, and everything in between...I'm an elementary teacher. I'm testing my body and my body doesn't like it, for now. I'm coming home, popping pain relievers such as Advil, and finding myself in bed by 8pm.</div>
<br>
<h3>
<b><span style="color: #ea9999;">Pain/Tenderness/Tightness</span></b></h3>
<div>
<b><span style="color: #ea9999;"><br></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In order to explain the pain I feel these days, its important to see a diagram of what I had done.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibD0n_U-L1PpXH3dckIiYnRM5Ev91PwjcU4ayUU85nXPp1xJON9aIykB2_vIpDraz_TEnOVNrMHHVxlB-Gmq8yh6_jA3QaNps1XZtLXUhkt__9Yh6e0s8AU_hMjKn8zWPEp4TPfpfrTOY/s1600/alloderm-reconstruction-03.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibD0n_U-L1PpXH3dckIiYnRM5Ev91PwjcU4ayUU85nXPp1xJON9aIykB2_vIpDraz_TEnOVNrMHHVxlB-Gmq8yh6_jA3QaNps1XZtLXUhkt__9Yh6e0s8AU_hMjKn8zWPEp4TPfpfrTOY/s320/alloderm-reconstruction-03.gif" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">http://www.tavmd.com/2013/09/08/complicated-breast-augmentation-surgery/<br>
<br>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>117</o:Words>
<o:Characters>668</o:Characters>
<o:Company>sais</o:Company>
<o:Lines>5</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>784</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br>
<div align="center">
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="padding: 3.0pt 4.5pt 4.5pt 4.5pt;"><h4 style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">AlloDerm </span></h4>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
The
AlloDerm is what was used to form a hammock, of sorts, to support the
implant. This is also what will hopefully prevent <a href="http://mybrcastory.blogspot.sg/2015/07/capsular-contracture-and-implant.html"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">capsular
contracture</span></a> due to the scar tissue not wanting to bond to it. While AlloDerm is great, you can see the number of stitches needed to
hold it in place...all securing it directly to the muscles. Enter my
current pain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
If
you look at the high left corner of the AlloDerm in the above image, that's the
point at which I have a lot of tenderness and aching right now. In my
right breast, I can actually feel the tiny "bump" at that
intersection of AlloDerm and muscle, which may be the stitch and/or scar
tissue. When I press on it, it slightly "pops". I've been instructed to massage that area as best I can, in order to break up any potential scar tissue which may be building.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<h4 style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Lateral Muscles</span></h4>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
In addition to that area, I'm also having overall tenderness and pain in the lateral muscle area on both sides. This I attribute to several factors. 1) possible scar tissue forming at drain sites, 2) going back to work and using my muscles more than I have since surgery thus far, and 3) stitches being pulled from the overall activity increase and potential scar tissue. I am also massaging these areas as much as I can tolerate. I was allowed to begin side sleeping, at a gentle incline with soft support underneath, but some nights, it's just not comfortable and not worth the aching.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<h4 style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Armpit/Arms</span></h4>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I have tightness in my armpit and leading just into my arm. While it's not cording, or doesn't seem to be a bad enough case to worry about, it's limiting some of my range of motion. I am doing my daily stretches and hoping that this is just a time issue.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<h4 style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Nipples</span></h4>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
The nipples are still quite tender. I keep telling myself this is a good thing. It's sensation. It's feeling. It's nerves regenerating. I was hoping it would have gone away by now, but I'll take it in hopes that I really will retain some feeling after the healing is complete.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br>
<h4>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Bras</span></h4>
Now is NOT the time to try out the strapless bras as I learned the hard way. I LOVE my Genie Bra line, ordering four different styles in black, nude and white. I thought I'd try the strapless one just out of pure excitement. Well, within hours, I was experiencing a lot of tenderness in my chest muscles above the implants. I guess it was too much weight to support at this time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Aesthetics</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
They look great. There might be slight imperfections that only I notice from my angle of looking at them, but overall, they are great. They've settled, they're soft and they look pretty darn natural for being implants. The positioning couldn't have been better. It is because of this that I realize what a blessing it was to find a micro surgeon, someone skilled at the teeny tiny details. The scars in the inframammary fold are looking amazing. I've been allowed to apply my <a href="https://www.inviciblescars.com/" target="_blank">InviCible</a> scar treatment for the past 3.5 weeks on both the drain sites and the scars.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<h3 style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Medications and Emotions</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I have been off all of the major medications for a long time now, as they never really suited me. However, I found myself popping half a Xanax at work this week, as I felt the heart begin to beat rapidly and the overwhelming sense of nausea took over my body. The scenario of seeing all of my co-workers again was a bit more emotional than I expected, as the obvious first questions are around the surgery. Not that I don't like talking about it, it's just that sometimes I feel like my boobs enter the room before I do, if that makes sense. No one made me feel uncomfortable, it was all my doing, all in my head. That, coupled with the overall stress of being back to work, just sent me into a tail spin. That's the only time, in a long time, that I've needed anything more than Advil.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Having said all this, nothing is really limiting me from completing my daily activities. I'm doing all the normal daily routines I was doing before at both work and home, and perhaps doing too much (like carrying things at work that I shouldn't be), so I think the pain is all just part of the process. Massaging is just my number one priority right now. Well, massaging, getting physically and mentally fit again and getting to sleep comfortably on my side are my priorities right now.</div>
<!--EndFragment--><br>
<div align="center" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">
<br></div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5083473362459596341.post-62634535482945854672015-07-30T20:11:00.000-04:002015-07-30T20:35:00.767-04:00PRMA Testimonial<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've given a lot of information about PRMA and Dr. Chrysopoulo via this blog throughout my journey. Please read and view my complete testimonials, here in one place. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact myself or Courtney, the PRMA Patient Liaison. Long distance travel should not be a factor in preventing you from going to the best.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #ea9999; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><a href="http://prma-enhance.com/about-us/testimonials/heather-barnard" target="_blank">PRMA One-Step Implants with Alloderm</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #ea9999; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><a href="http://prma-enhance.com/about-us/testimonials/heather-barnard" target="_blank">Testimony</a> </span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Read my story about coming to terms with BRCA and deciding on prophylactic mastectomy at PRMA.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ea9999; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #ea9999; font-size: large;"><a href="http://prma-enhance.com/breast-reconstruction-blog/traveling-9000-miles-breast-reconstruction" target="_blank">Traveling 9000 Miles for Breast Reconstruction</a></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Read this blog post by PRMA patient liaison Courtney Floyd and watch my video testimony.<br />
<br />
<br />
<h4>
<span style="color: #ea9999;">Contact us via Twitter too! </span></h4>
Courtney Floyd @diepflapbreast<br />
Dr. Chrysopoulo @mchrysopoulo<br />
Heather @expattravelmom</div>
MyBRCAStoryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08747283229561741568noreply@blogger.com0