You're a pain in the...
No, I'm not talking about my husband, I'm talking about the actual recovery I'm still going through. Today marks three months since my surgery. Here's what's happening at this point, but if you need to refresh what was happening at two months, read here.
Follow Up and Physical Therapy...or Not
Yep, the twinges of pain, sore muscles and tightness are still with me...although MUCH less. This is due to the fact that I can only do so much on my own with the exercises given to me, but I really need physical therapy to work on the scar tissue and muscles. Having had the surgery overseas and leaving behind my amazing surgical doctor and nurse, I'm left to pickup the pieces back here in Singapore and its not going as well as I had hoped.
I came back to Singapore and had an immediate follow up appointment with a doctor here. A doctor who was amazed that I was up and about and feeling/looking so great a month out. A doctor who knew nothing about Alloderm, and was so intrigued, that he did an ultrasound just to see inside. A doctor...who I cannot seem to get an appointment with any time soon. All I need is a referral.
I've been feeling pretty great since my return to Singapore two months ago. I've been working, I've been completely off any medications (even Advil) for a month and I'm even able to shave my legs with less pain from repetitive motion of the lateral muscles on the sides of the breasts. However, I do experience tightness that radiates from the lateral muscles on the side of my left breast into my armpit, which not only causes some twinges of pain, it limits my range of motion. I need this looked at by a physical therapist. Sounds simple, right? I'm at my wit's end trying to get a referral from above mentioned doctor to see a physical therapist. Surely there has to be an easier way. As of now, there's a 2-3 week wait to get into the doctor. Let's hope this happens sooner by some act of goodness, and I can start therapy sooner.
Wow, I don't even know what to say here. They still hurt. They are quite tender, which I didn't expect this far out from surgery (or is three months not considered "far out" for a surgery like this?). I'm beginning to wonder if maybe the soreness I feel is from tight muscles and scar tissue pulling at that area?
My scars are still rocking on their recovery. I'm using my InviCible every day and watching them fade more and more. As for my breasts, they are WAY softer. I didn't think they could get softer than a month ago, but here we are, another month gone by, and they are even better. My right breast still looks fantastic, while the left breast is having a little bit of a "tugging" issue due to scar tissue. Again, physical therapy needed now. Because of the scar tissue, there's an area under my nipple which is almost pulling inward. It's slight, not even my husband notices unless I point it out, but I see it. I say this just so women are aware of things that CAN happen after surgery. To me...I'm just happy I lessened my chances of getting breast cancer. I can deal with this slight imperfection.
The strangest thing, and maybe too much information for some, is the way the breast moves when the muscles are tightened. Imagine pulling/lifting or doing anything that would contract the chest muscles. Then picture the breast trying to move, like a natural breast, but it doesn't. The implant stays where it is and the muscle tries to go in the direction forced, so you're left with this indenting, rippling and what not. Thankfully I'm usually always wearing a bra or shirt so that no one can witness this strange occurrence, but again, I'm here to be truthful.
I think I'm beyond the emotional roller coaster that is related to the overall surgery preparation and immediate recovery. I'm back to all my daily routines and I don't break down in tears at random. However, if I'm being real and totally transparent here, this is something I posted on August 28th:
Some days I wish my boobs were removable and I could just take a break from them. A break from the soreness, the twinges and itches I can't quite get to and the overall weirdness of them.
It's true, I can't help but feel what I feel. They are foreign. They are strange. And they take getting used to. I do wish, some days, that I didn't have the surgery. But I'm quickly reminded of my WHY. I saved my life and really, if faced with it again, I'd do it. This is just a new me I have to get used to, but I don't doubt that the strangeness of it will every go away. They'll always be a daily reminder of what I did and why. And maybe that's ok. If I never did it, I'd never have this story to tell, I'd never have written a book, and I'd never have met so many wonderful people to add to my life.
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