Sunday, June 21, 2015

Day 10- Happy Father's Day

As you may or may not have read, Day 9 was quite the doozy for me, not good at all.  It continued into last night when I found myself, once again, not sleeping and quietly crying from frustration at 1am.  My husband gave me 1/2 of the dreaded Xanax and I ended up sleeping through the rest of the night, waking at 7:30am.  Yay me and yay to my husband who said, "every piece of information PRMA has given us has said its normal to feel this way, that's why you have the option to take Xanax."  He was right, and I had to trust my body.  As Jim Rohn said, "Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live."

So, I was well rested and determined to make it out today to honor my husband, the man who has been tirelessly taking care of me for the past week.  It's Father's Day.  My routine takes me quite a bit of time as it just simply takes me longer to get ready right now.  So, it might have been 10:30am before we actually got out the door, but I did it...feeling good about myself.  And look!  I managed to make it to a Father's Day brunch on the Riverwalk at Las Canarias in San Antonio...drains hidden and all.

It felt so good to shift my mind, once again, and take back control over how I was going to spend my day.  We had a lovely couple hours by the river, until getting rained out, and everything just seemed...normal.  By the end of the brunch, I could feel my muscles getting really tight, so I allowed myself to take 1/2 a muscle relaxer.  I say "allowed" as I actually get anxiety about taking the medications because of how disconnected and out of control they make me feel.  I know, I know, I can take Xanax for that...but I have anxiety about that too.  ;)  Anyway, 1/2 a muscle relaxer later, we were off running a few more errands (one of which included a much anticipated Chai Latte from Starbucks...SORRY Dr. C...I broke the no caffeine rule today...but it was SOOOO good) and ended back up at the hotel around 4:30pm.  That's a long day for me!

At about 6:30pm, I had what was one of the most painful muscle spasms or nerve spasms I've had as of yet.  My left breast is always hunky issues, no tightness, no nothing.  It's being good.  It's my right breast that is acting up and causing all the issues.  I think I've determined it's because I'm right handed and therefore, my pec area on the right gets exerted more, which means more pain.  Anyway, guess what?  I took a 1/2 a muscle relaxer again and did just fine.  I just had to get rid of my anxiety about how the meds make me feel and realize I need to take care of my body because it's the only one I have.  

So, we're back on the upswing today, and it was the perfect day to make that happen.  Wish me luck for tomorrow as I'm going in for another appointment to hopefully remove my drains.  Bitter sweet though as this might be my last visit with my friends at PRMA.  

* 9pm I had another one of those horrendously awful muscle pains shoot through, over and around my breast.  It took my breath away, sent me into sweats and nearly to the floor.  It doesn't end quickly, it radiates and lingers for a couple minutes.  Curious as to what this is and how long into recovery these last.

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