Monday, June 15, 2015

Day 4, Oh So Sore

Apparently my body had enough of the "feeling good" stage and decided to force me into reality for a day.  This was my hardest day by far.  

Upon waking up this morning, I could tell things were different.  My drain sites were more painful, my left leg was constantly going into a tingling sensation and I still haven't had a bowel movement since before surgery (TMI but necessary to tell you in case you're preparing for this surgery).  We emptied my drains which are showing less and less output (shooting for 10ml or less over 24hrs), but that whole procedure of emptying drains still makes me nauseated.  I swear I can feel the suction happening inside my body as my husband strips them.  Who knows if I actually do, but it feels like it.

I spent most of the morning in bed upstairs in my Mickey Mouse pjs as the bed has become my security blanket.  However, I decided to venture downstairs to the recliner for a while, to again join the land of the living and see my kids a bit more.  Again, stairs are no issue.  Naturally, I fell asleep after 15 minutes of watching a show with my husband (I'm such awesome company right now!), and was later woken up by him giving me, yet again, more meds.  I'm in a constant fog and hate these meds.  You know when you see a trail behind your waving hand, as if in slow motion?  That's me, all day. I'm having my own little drug trip.  I'm still down to one Percocet at a time instead of two, and am now supplementing with Advil when needed.

Once awake, I decided to shift places to try and reposition my sore body. At this point I felt a lot of pain in my chest and became very nauseated, lightheaded and somewhat panicked.  I cried for hating this limiting feeling so much.  I still can't truly look at myself yet as it sends my stomach churning.  I don't have bruising and the cuts under my breasts aren't visible, but it's the touching of my breasts and them being numb that sends me over the edge.  It's just a complete disconnect for me.  I'm sure once I decide to fully look at myself and accept it all, I'll fee so much better.  It's just hard.

This is my amazingly wonderful doctor, Dr. Chrysopoulo
whom I'll always carry near and dear to my heart.  I honestly
couldn't have asked for a more kind, compassionate and amazing
doctor.  He was worth the ten year wait.
Luckily, today was the day I was seeing my doctor and I could find out if everything I was dealing with was normal.  Sitting in Dr. C's office and waiting to see him had already sent me into the woozy stage as I knew he'd be checking on my breasts, which meant undoing my pressure bra.  I feel like everything is in control when the bra is on, so much less pain, everything held together where it should be.  When the bra comes off, I feel everything letting loose and I don't like it.  I feel the pressure of the new boobs, I feel the dangling of the drains and all of that combined just doesn't sit well with my stomach.

The good news is that Dr. C and my nurse Denise were very happy with my progress and pleased to not see bruising nor signs of infection.  I was happy everyone else was happy, but I still couldn't bring myself to deal with looking.  More good news is that I might get two drains out on Wednesday as they are producing less than 10ml.  The other two drains are still at about 30ml.  Dr. C seems to think the drugs are just not for me.  I'm a lightweight, always have been (cheap date for sure).  Being in a fog and sleeping as much as I have been is not good for my recovery.  I need to be more alert and I need to be walking my 15 minute intervals to reduce blood clots.  For that reason, Percocet is done...I'm off of it.

My nurse also suggested warm prune juice as my stomach was now the size of a basketball and rock hard.  The colace and Milk of Magnesia were doing nothing.  No one warned me about the stomach swelling and bloating after surgery.  None of my pants fit!  So a warning to future ladies, bring larger pants!  One of the nurses said that some women gain 10-20 lbs after this surgery due to all the water retention and other fluids the body is trying to hold on to.  I only brought larger button down shirts for the post surgery, not elastic waisted larger pants!

Once back home, with my prune juice in hand, we ate dinner, celebrated my daughter's 7th birthday before grandma left and I drank that prune juice like nobody's business.  Come 9:00pm, let's just say my pants were beginning to fit again.

By baby girl is now 7.

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