Slow Down, Type A Not Needed

There's no award for the fastest healing nor the for the one who complains the least.

I'm in the recovery stage of my journey.  It's a very strange place to be, a bit unsettling.  The planning phase kept me very involved, occupied...it gave me lists to check off which I love doing.  I was taking care of travel plans, packing the family and making lodging arrangements.  The immediate pre and post surgery stages involved in the moment concentration, focus and healing thoughts.  People wrote to me daily, engaging me in conversation, taking my mind off things.  I journaled daily during my recovery phase for the first two weeks post-op, putting my restless energy towards the better...I hope.  And now, I'm in the post-recovery recovery phase.  It's that part where you're more independent, you are feeling good, you're out of your doctor's immediate care, but you you're still recovering.

Be kind to yourself during this phase.  I'm learning that it's just as fragile as any other part of your journey.  I learned the hard way, that while I may be "released", my mind and body still have a way to go.  We left San Antonio yesterday.  It was like a graduation in a sense.  I had completed my assignments and there was nothing further to do.  I passed the test.  We decided to make our way to Austin, Texas, a change of scenery, one more city in Texas to see before heading back to Houston and subsequently, Singapore.  My husband was dying to eat at the Salt Lick BBQ in Driftwood, so we detoured for dinner before hitting Austin.  

Slow down and take the time to see everything around you
that you'd normally whiz by.

While I do feel good and look great, I pushed it too far, once again.  We had spent three hours in the car by the time we arrived in Austin, plus another hour eating, all of which I was sitting upright.  Prior to the drive we had been getting ready and packing suitcases.  I hurt.  I was tired.  I cried.  I have this false sense of "I'm done!  Now what?" mentality.  It's like I need something to do at all times.  School is out for the summer, so I'm on holiday.  When I go out right now, no one would have any clue that I've just had major surgery, so why should I feel or act like I did?  I should be on holiday.

It's hard to slow down if you're not used it, if you're a little OCD or Type A like me.  But I really want to caution those who are, please slow down.  Don't think because you look fine, that you are assumed to feel fine.  Let yourself go through every phase of this journey that you need.  No one can dictate for you when your time will finish.  Give yourself permission to take time.  Everything still goes on around you just fine, as I've learned.  You have to let go of things and trust that you are doing the right thing for yourself.  

And please, find your outlet.  Your best friend, your spouse, your doctor...whomever, whatever.  Mine is writing.  It helps me process, it helps me to keep moving forward.